Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Get Away...a new found freedom

It goes without being said that I have been on a bit of a blog hiatus—even my non-blogging friend (although she has been known to read them on occasion) can tell me when my last entry was….yes it has indeed been awhile. Much has happened—mostly life has just been busy. I used to wonder when life would return to normal—I have since figured out that BUSY is my normal. I know it will not always be like this, that this is a phase that will pass but for now I am trying to enjoy every minute of it.

It is almost Christmas which means this year is coming to an end...quickly!
I used to love Christmas, the presents, the anticipation, all the decorating.
This year I have been wishing that Christmas came at a different time of year—
say, like June.
I don’t think I am near as busy in June, although it is much warmer that time of year which does not invoke the pictures of a white Christmas—not that it is ever an option living in Phoenix but others might miss it. My December finds every weekend occupied with sitting in gyms watching my children wrestle. It is fun. It is exciting and sometimes it is frustrating, but we love it. Sometimes I feel like we are sacrificing all the Christmas stuff in order to support them in their endeavors—that is why I am thinking June would be better—they are out of school and we need something to keep them busy.RIGHT?

When my kids were little many parents of teenagers would make the comment “You think you are busy now, just wait until they are in high school. I would think to myself, “really how much busier can it be?” I thought I was pretty busy chasing after kids, finding activities to occupy their time, and keeping them out of trouble. I am not sure when it actually changed, but it has. Now they find things to occupy their time, which often involves me driving or supporting them. I no longer control who they play with or choose to spend their time with. When they were little it felt like they were going to be little forever and I didn’t truly realize in the midst of all the daily life how quickly they would be growing up…..and leaving.(sorta)

I have yet to have one actually leave home, she is still hanging around and I love it. Having “older” kids is such a blessing. She has been able to step in and play the role of chauffer and person in charge (I dare say parent because the siblings don’t obey her like they do us) Years ago we had friends that were BYU alumni and they would often fly off to the games leaving their teenagers in charge. It seemed like such a foreign idea, the idea of packing up and leaving for a few days just on a whim? When they were little, the idea of running away sounded wonderful sometimes….but you can’t do that when they are little, somehow they can always find you…even if I was just hiding in the bathroom (not really hiding just with the door shut for a brief moment but they thought I was hiding) Getting away with the hubby involved planning even if it was just for a few hours let alone an evening.
My how things have changed.
Cell phones have helped immensely in the ability to get away. You can be out the door and down the block and still within reach. It was a liberating moment when we were able to go to the movies leaving the oldest in charge for a few hours. After that moment there was no looking back, we had transitioned into some new found freedoms with kids. Originally we limited the cooking, answering the phone and even opening the door to anyone. As they have gotten older and more competent those things have gone by the wayside. A few hours became long days, and finally overnight.

My husband was playing in a annual golf tournament and wanted me to attend with him. I started making arrangements for grandma to come over and stay overnight with the kids. My oldest stated “mom, we can take care of ourselves.” It got me thinking…..Hmmmmm. Could they? Would everything be fine? Then it came down to worse case scenario... we would only be 2 ½ hours away and the grandma’s were both in town, and one lives around the corner if they really needed anything fast. It was then decided that we could indeed embark on this new found freedom….and we have, with very little looking back. This weekend we decided that since I would be busy working on our actual anniversary that is coming up, that I would go with my hubby on his business trip to Vegas. We packed our bags, threw everything in the car and with a wave and a “see ya later” we were out the door and on our way enjoying our new found freedom. It is such a bittersweet feeling to know that you have reached the point in your life where your kids are capable of taking care of themselves and you are not necessary for their every need. It is bittersweet to know that in a few years there might not be anyone around to say “see ya” to…but for now I am going to appreciate those kids that are trustworthy and responsible enough to be left behind, and appreciate the cell phone so they can still call when they have a question, not that they need my answer but just the fact that they value it.


middle age mormon mother said...

OK, I was actually in a panic because I thought your blog had just disappeared into cyberspace when I couldn't find it at the bottom of my list in my sidebar. Welcome back. I have missed reading about your adventures. I hope Las Vegas was a wonderful getaway. It is nice to just be able to take off.

dee said...

The wind we had in the gorge recently must of been the collective exhale of hubby and Casper