09/09/09

i feel like this date warrants something to be said
something profound
and yet....
I got nuthin'!
My brain is a void of anything notable or noteworthy
so instead you will get my ramblings
and even though i have nothing of real insight to say i do want it stated that i do know how to spell "nothing"....so onto my thoughts...all 9 of them to celebrate 9/9/09

1. Sometimes Taco Bell just tastes good--but not the second time around--
2. Why do i feel the need to have a glass of water at my bedside every night and yet i rarely ever drink it?
3. It is a good thing that gum doesn't really stay in your body for 7 years--i am a gum swallower--I try not to be--but i can't help it. I haven't checked to make sure it really does comes out but at this point if it didn't,the whole of my insides would be white gooey sticky stuff if that wives tale were true
4.I love the smell of a new bus--similar to a new car smell but on a much larger scale--(and i don't have to pay for it)although today a girl said that my new bus smelled like bologna and old leather--does that equate to new bus smell, I am not sure?
5. My kids just crack me up--they are growing into neat people...
6. With that being said about my kids why does their personal belief and reality of the moment differ so much when progress reports come out? And why am i the bad guy when i get upset about less than adequate grades
7. And on the similar subject--when did it become politically correct to give a kid an "E" instead of calling it what it is--an "F" as in "failing"--is an "E" supposed to make us feel better about the grade since it is one letter closer to a D?
8.I love to brush my teeth in the shower--feel like i can give them a much better scrub in there than over the sink--i don't know why--just do
9.i am sitting next to my youngest punk in dis-belief that he will be 8 years old tomorrow--why is this so hard to believe? In some ways it seems like we have been dealing with him and his issues F-O-R-E-V-E-R and that he has always been here--and then on the other hand his is still so young and learning new things. Just tonight he put on his pajama pants by himself--not a big deal for a "normal" 8 year old--but he is anything but "normal". In 8 short years he has made me stop and appreciate the little things--so many little things that i took for granted. Even with all his issues i am so thankful that he became the caboose for our family--

now that is notable, noteworthy and profound--and if i really wanted to i could ramble on for hours about this kid and the joy he gives me and our family, but i won't...I will save that for his birthday.

familiar smells

Years ago I was somewhere where they poised the question

"If you had to give up one of your senses which one would you give up?"

As i sat and pondered that question i could not really come up with one that i would willingly want to give up. Each one holds such an importance to me and while there are times i do take them for granted I am equally thankful that i have each one of them.

There is no way i would want to give up sight--I love to see the beauty and color around me--
Hearing allows you to communicate and hear the small soft sounds of nature--and touch....I love texture and am such a hands on person--one of my favorite things to do is make bread and feel it in my hands--or dig in the garden and run my hands through the soil. The there is Taste--uMMMMM--NO WAY--we all know how i love food--i would rather not eat than eat bad food--and taste goes with SMELL--when you can't smell, food it does not taste as good. Now there are times when you would prefer NOT to smell something but through smell it makes you aware of your surroundings. I have found that often smell is something that invokes memories. It is amazing how you associate certain smells with a place or a person or even the most random of memories...there was always a smell of evergreens at my grandmothers house--when i catch a whiff of that it brings back such a flood of memories. Some smells remind you of the Holidays--some remind you of a meal that was shared--and some remind you of when your children were little (those tend to be the smells we want to forget) and then when i am with my brothers there are smells that remind me of road trips-(again not the pleasant smell you really want to remember)

“Smell is a potent wizard

that transports you across thousands of miles

and all the years you have lived."

Helen Keller

Yesterday as I was driving I had the windows open and i caught a smell--the most random of memories came back with this smell. In my mind it was the smell of death...OK maybe that is an extreme description but allow me to explain--because in reflecting back and knowing me now i am surprised i even had anything to do with this. I am not one who likes reptiles, or fish or amphibians and even birds freak me out--i can swim in a lake or stream or ocean as long as i don't see what is swimming around me and especially if i NEVER come in contact with said animals--I do not like to touch fish unless it comes cleaned and filleted from the store. I can not or better spoken WILL NOT hold a snake,lizard or frogs--they just creep me out--I can look at them through glass but even then i am not getting too close--so with that being said I am shocked i had anything to do with tadpoles as a kid. We lived near a large open field that was great for bike riding and exploring and digging huge holes and when the rains came there was a pond and in this pond lived---you guessed it tadpoles. We (my little bro and I) filled and entire wagon full of tadpoles and brought it home. Did i not know that all those tadpoles would become frogs--did my mom have any clue that her backyard was going to be overtaken with hopping amphibians in a few short weeks? Or i should say would have been taken over if we hadn't gone on vacation...there is this thing called evaporation that doesn't bode well for a metal wagon filled with thousands of tadpoles....when we came home from vacation and went to check on our tadpoles and to see if any had mad the transformation to frog hood, we found instead there was this SMELL--the same smell i smelled yesterday--the one of dehydrated tadpoles caked on the inside of a wagon--I am pretty sure that was not exactly what i was smelling yesterday but boy did it brings back the memories of that carnage as a child. I remember that we never quite used that wagon again...there are certain smells that just don't come out--even when scrubbed many times....

“You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry, don't worry.
And be sure to smell
the flowers along the way.”
Walter Hagen

the second first day

How can it be the first if it is actually the second?
Rather deep question...
--it is all in the perspective--
especially the perspective of the parent...
I am the outsider
--the observer--
the watcher and document keeper
and more often than not
--the picture taker....
but not this year, that job was relegated to the hubby.
He sent the next wave of kids off to their first day of school
First was the son in middle school

and then this cute punk was off--he loves the structure that school brings
These boys are the bus riders of the family and while i love the fact that their transportation is provided, freeing a bit of time up for me--i do miss the opportunity to be confined with my young teen to talk. Somehow when you are in the confines of a car there seems to be more opportunity to just chat--seems like i can focus on them and not the 50million things going on around me.

Since i have to get little man out of school early several days a week for therapy I still get the chance to chat with him. Unfortunately since he does not speak in complete sentences, I usually end up carrying on the majority of the conversation--
which at first is exciting too him--thinking he doesn't actually have to talk
and then he realized that he won't get a word in anyway
I am hoping that eventually he will carry his end of the conversation....

If there were no schools
to take the children away from home
part of the time,
the insane asylums would be filled
with mothers.
~Edgar W. Howe

first day of HIGHSCHOOL

What can I say??? The summer has flown by and i have been too busy/tired to blog--where did the time go? Truly i don't know--i can't remember other years going by so fast. I have heard it said that as your kids get older time moves faster--AND IT DOES--so much faster.

So today is the FIRST of three "first day's of school" in our house this year. I will have 5 kids at 5 different schools--two in two different high schools that started today--two in the elementary district that starts tomorrow and then the newest addition is college. When did i get old enough to have a child in college--i will just pretend she is one of those really bright 12 year old (instead of 19) that way i won't seem so old--it's all perception anyway.

This also marks a milestone in that i wasn't here to see them off this year--It was sad to me that i missed taking the kids pictures--but their dad was here so he got the privilege of taking their pictures and running them around--just one of the joys of being unemployed.

Here is the newest freshman in our house--she recently gave 12inches to locks of love--hence the new short hair

she is the my third child to be starting highschool--I am over half way done with this milestone. She will be attending the same high school her sister just graduated from and will start swimming with the high school team this afternoon--just when you think you are free of something, you get sucked back in.

Then there is this cute punk
He is attending the same highschool his dad went to--which is a different one than the daughter
not only is he not really excited about the first day of school
but his birthday is also today--poor kid
who knew that having an early August birthday would have it coincide with the first day of school--he could get his license today--but isn't--he has some more to do with his eagle and nothing beats time and experience behind the wheel. Hard to believe he is halfway through high school and he will be a junior this year--

like I said earlier time really does move faster when your kids get older

"The only reason for time
is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”

Albert Einstein

the first one is OFF

I have been off the "blog" lately. Not only have i not been posting--i haven't been reading either. It is amazing how every ones lives went on without me lurking into them. I have missed those updates on my friends. I have missed writing about those things that i have been doing and thinking--but before i could start my entry tonight i felt the need to "catch up" on others lives. As i was reading it really made me think about what i was going to write about anyway--just how quickly life moves and things change.

Today my oldest flew the coop--literally. As of a few minutes ago a large plane took off carrying my daughter to a part of the world i have never been.

I am happy for her but at the same time i am feeling a bit of jealousy and sadness. Jealous because i wish i was going--I love an adventure and am so glad she is getting one at this time in her life but am sad that i am not there to experience it with her. I hope she takes LOTS of great pictures and keeps a good journal so years from now she will remember the details....

As i was sending her off today i couldn't help but reflect on other milestones where i sent her off on new adventures. The first one came at 18 months when she went to nursery--. The first time i had to take her into nursery she cried. As soon as she thought i was out of earshot she quit crying. She wanted me to think that she needed me--but she didn't, she was fine...

Then my daughter became shy--painfully shy, as in "i won't even talk to my grandparents" kind of shy. I had no idea where she got that characteristic from--but she had it and it worried me. I was concerned how she would do when she went off to school. We went ahead and started her in kindergarten just after she turned 5, she said she wanted to go--so we let her. Letting the first one go is hard--especially when you think they need you--I soon found out, she didn't. Off she went without so much as a glance back at me. The only tears that were coming that day were from the corners of my eyes. She bounded into that kindergarten room with confidence--and a few days later when she had the opportunity to change classes she did it--again without any issues.

She has continually surprised me at how she handles new situations. In middle school when she was held back she really grew and blossomed. She gained confidence in meeting new friends.She always seems to make friend with those who are new or visiting. Somewhere along the line she has welcomed all into her "Box". Now that doesn't mean she likes to step out of it--she likes the safety of her box--she doesn't feel the need to venture out of the box just for the sake of adventure. Once again she is willingly embarking on another new situation and new friends. She is going into this adventure not knowing anyone--this whole thing is unfamiliar, and yet she is embracing this trip with a smile on her face and light in her eyes.

I can only imagine the experiences she will be having--all without me to see it transpire. Today as i hugged her goodbye she gave me that same confidence that she had in kindergarten

--the one that said

"I will be fine mom--and don't let the door hit you in the butt"

again i was the one left there standing as she went off...

without so much as a look back

with tears in my eyes

...some things don't change....

good times with the grandparents

My daughter came in all buzzed tonight--
you could tell she had a good time.
"Guess what i ate?" She asked in her bubbly life is good attitude.
Knowing that she had been at her grandparents
i knew it must have been something yummy--
"Meatballs?" i said
"NOOOOO"she responded with indignation
--personally I thought it had been a good guess
"How about popcorn" (grandpa is known for mastering the proper amounts of real butter and salt to make a wonderful bowl of greasy goodness)
"NOPE--mom you are not very good at this guessing game"
Child, give me a break--the options are endless as to what you could have eaten--
she did take pity on me and gave me a clue
"It is something that you shouldn't eat because it might cause you to have a heart attack and since you already have a bad heart....."
"Could it have been Heart attack french toast?"
"YEP--and it was really good"
they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach--
they failed to mention that it works for grand kids as well....
Where will my children go when they need a snack this summer--
or someone to spoil them?
--it will be a long three months with the grandparents gone....

the bench

We are such creatures of habit--
I like the familiar the routine...
I do things the same way because it just "feels right"
When it comes to church on Sunday
I like to drive the same way--
park in the same area
enter in the same set of doors
and after many years we now have a bench.
We have found that in our building we do not fit on the side benches--
just too many of us and the butts are too big for all of us to fit on the side so we are relegated to the middle benches.
Somehow we have one that we have marked as "ours"
I don't know when it happened...it just did
Today when i came it my husband was already sitting down
and we were just one row back from our normal bench--
it felt weird--
first of all we were displacing the family that normally sat behind us
(at the time i did not know that they were not there today)
it had a different view--
just strange that's all....

As i was reflecting on my bench situation i realized that sooner than later we would be able to fit on a side bench. Our days of my whole family attending church together is limited--
my bench will be thinning out in the years to come.
I hadn't really thought about the fact as my children graduate that they also move onto another ward--a ward without their family sitting with them.
I remember other families with full benches not too long ago--
and now i see them sitting as empty Nester's...
Is this what i have to look forward to?
It won't be too many years before we can fit on the side bench again--
just another change...
another adjustment--
that i will be making before i know it.

bitter sweet transition

today was a day of transitions--
this was a day that i felt was far away
and now it is here.
Where did the time go--
did i blink? like the song says--
and years pass before i even realized it?
My middle child is now a high school freshman

just as i have one leaving another one starts-- and so the circle continues for the next few years--
in two years the next punk will be graduating and hopefully leaving on a mission shortly there after. and then the next two in tow...
moving all too quickly for my liking.
Was it only four short years ago i was discussing this day with my son just after i had dropped the oldest off for her first day of high school--I remember getting teary eyed at the idea of how quickly this time would fly and now here it is?!
Bittersweet transition....
something that we have been working towards...
I made the mistake and blinked
and now it leaves me with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart--

rain or shine it's graduation time

this week has been a blur--
one HOT blur--
until today that is.
We had eighth grade promotion this morning--

it was a lovely albeit cool morning--
a pleasant surprise given the last week or so of 100+ degree days
I was hoping that the cloud cover would stay around

so when it came time for graduation it would not be ridiculously hot--
MY WISH WAS GRANTED
the only problem was--
with that wish of cloud cover

came some side effects--
like in the form of RAIN--

When was the last time it actually rained in Arizona--
HMMMM--don't know and can't remember
it has been awhile....
We have had a dry spring
and because of the lack of rain

we haven't had alot blooming which i am thankful for.
It had been drizzling lightly

and then ten minutes before it was due to start

the heavens opened up and the rain came pouring down

and here came the graduates--i actually was able to pick out my daughter and her semi wavy hair (it had been curled but rain has the effect of straightening it) She was able to pick us out of the crowd and gave us a cute wave acknowledging the fact we were sitting in the rain
and then the graduation ceremony continued on--as if rain was an everyday occurrence.
Notice how wet the track is...Did the principal cut her talk short--UMMMM--NOOOO. She had to acknowledge all the important people by name that were sitting in the rain with the rest of us--at that point--WHO CARED?--Let's just get on with it already Finally the moment came of the actual diplomas being given came. There were teachers there to help the girls up the ramp
and teachers to help them down--lest they take a spill. Her anatomy/physiology teacher was there to help her down and gave her a bad time about wearing heels in the rain and she still managed to make it back to her seat in one piece-no worse for the wear just a tad bit wet as the case maybe. Maybe they should have been wearing rain panchos instead of gowns.

It is a good thing that with swimming for all those years she has practiced the wet look--and has it down--even looks cute....

her aunt and uncle braved the weather with us--they are half way done with their graduations-
last year their sons was moved inside because of the weather--who would think two years in a row that this would be an issue

and then come rain of shine grandma is always there for her grand kids

and finally both of us got in a picture together with our first born
--our first graduate.
Even without the rain--
this will soon be an evening that will NOT be forgotten

eighth grade promotion

This is an Arizona tradition I have never understood,
but i just go along with it.
I don't understand how or why it was ever started,
but for some reason they feel the need to continue on with this tradition.
I guess it had gotten out of hand many years ago with limos and expensive dresses and people making such a big deal out of it that they have tried to scale it down--
and scale it down they have....
right back into the classroom.
My other two that have "promoted" atleast they did it in the cafeteria--
and there was a stage and speeches....
about 30 minutes worth of a program...
This child got a speech read from the principal

and a very nice talk from her teacher on how to succeed in high school,
and it was said that the reason they were going to the small classroom situation was so they could give more personal attention to the students...
somehow we failed to see any of that actually transpire--
names were read and certificates were given with no mention of additional awards--like those given for grades
photo op's were limited...


we did manage to have her poise with each of us--just to let her know how proud we are of her.
Call us crazy but we expect our kids to go onto high school--we have never felt that a celebration was called for just because you completed 8th grade---
but we don't want to be the loser parents who don't show up when everyone else is there--but is it really worth taking work off for such an uneventful thing--for 15 minutes of being crammed into a hot classroom? I say "just do away with the whole thing"...but that is just my opinion...Although if they had done away with it, I would not have gotten this picture of her

Meet the newest McClintock freshman...doesn't look like an 8th grader anymore--
goodbye uniforms hello regular cute clothes....