Wednesday, November 24, 2010

hindsight thinks it's so smart

what a day.
I feel like i am drained...
like my life force has been sucked out of me...
maybe it is the headache--
or the roller coaster ride i have been on.
Not an actual roller coaster, but the emotional one.

Highs and lows today
and now i am feeling like hindsight is a B#*$%.
I have decided that I don't like hindsight
espcially when it shows up, raining on my parade.
Just when you think you did well hindsight comes in and undermines you.
So now i sit here doubting
wondering if i did what i needed to,
If i said the "right" things,
if i made the best impression...
It is like taking a test, and thinking you initially did awesome
only to ponder on it and question whether you did or not.
And the worst part is...
I won't know the results of this life test until next week.
So now i sit and wait and wonder,
and question everything i said and beat myself up.
I wish i didn't care.
Life is easier when you really don't care about a particular outcome
Unfortunately right now i do care
and i am torturing myself in the meantime...
tomorrow will be better...
I hope?


Melanie said...

Hang in there....NO need to beat yourself up, what's done is done. If only it were that easy to turn it off. I hope it works out the way you want it to:)

mom of fab five said...

woke up in a better mood--like you said what's done is done. Hubby and i were talking about it and he gave me a few pointers--just a little late. I asked him why he didn't tell me these things earlier and he said he forgot--lol. I know if anyone can relate to the hurry up and wait and putting your fate in someone elses hands it is you. SOmetimes not getting what we want is the best thing to happen to us--again that hindsight thing....