another milestone

There are things that you take for granted when you have "NORMAL" kids
(actually i would like to know what "normal" is?)
All my kids are "special" but my baby has what some refer to as "special needs"
So with that being said he continues to amaze me as his does "normal" things.
Things that are just your everyday "normal" milestones--
but for a kid that has to work hard to find "normal" they are moments of celebration
TODAY was one of those days.

This kid has always enjoyed puzzles--
not actually putting the pieces in them,
more like dumping them out
and watching me put them together.
I have gotten pretty good at his puzzles--
and i have been waiting for the day when he could do them--
and
TODAY was the day!

I sat in awe as i watched my little buddy match up the colors
and not only attempt to place them but SUCCEED

now if we could only find the pieces of the puzzle that he has already lost--
that will be the next major accomplishment...
one step at a time

Minor things can become moments of great revelation
when encountered for the first time--

Margot Fonteyn

Census meltdown

I have a short fuse--
sometimes it doesn't take much for it to go off and when it does
WATCH OUT!
Stupid things really set me off
and don't even get me started on stupid people....

Tonight I have been enjoying a lovely evening at home
Kids running around, dinner in the belly
and curled up on the couch reading a book--
such peace and tranquility filled my heart....

and then the phone rang
and all calm and peace left me
and the blood pressure went up--
it is stupid that i let it bug me
that i got worked up over it
but...I did....

So what is it that set off my buttons you might ask?
A phone call that was redundant and stupid
even the person on the other line agreed that the questions were redundant
and yet she continued to ask them because she had to...
WHATEVER??!!

It was a phone call from the census
Now i want to go on the record
i think the census is important,
i was actually employed by the census 10 years ago
and that I did fill out this current census before it was due this time around
and i mailed it back in--
before it was due,
and yet i still got this phone call, questioning my answers.

I sorta tried to be patient (was not succeeding at it) as she read the long paragraph off her computer screen--OK i get it--you have to ask me some questions, get on with it. It was the repeating of what i had filled out that irked me--asking me the same question poised different ways that really set me off. LOOK LADY, I FILLED IT OUT LIKE YOU ASKED BEFORE THE DATE AND MAILED IT BACK--IT IS ACCURATE--YES ALL THE PEOPLE LIVED IN MY HOUSE BEFORE THAT DATE, ON THAT DATE, AND SINCE THAT DATE. NO ONE ELSE LIVED HERE--IF THEY HAD I WOULD HAVE PUT THEM DOWN--
UGH!!!! (just a taste of the convo that took place)

why bother to have me fill it out if you are just going to call me and go over EVERY question all over again--i am not an idiot--the census is not rocket science--but apparently they think we are not capable of doing it without their help--BARF--more government waste--all i saw as i was talking with this woman was my tax dollars going down the toilet--all on a day when we went to vote for a sales tax increase because my local and state government wants to spend more of my hard earned money--actually spend is not the right word--WASTE is more appropriate--just dang frustrated with the governments inability to stay on a budget and their solution is to take take take...more more more.

OK i am done--well sorta--i am sure i will have a melt down on some future date as i watch my hard earned money wasted on stupid things
things like phone calls that interrupt my quiet tranquil evening at home.

i am getting too old for this

It has happened.
Somewhere along the line i have gotten old--
not OLDER....just OLD.

I remember those days when the party was just starting at 9pm
and staying up after midnight was no big deal--
but those days are gone--
LONG GONE i say!
Somewhere along the way 9pm became my wind down time
(FYI i had to look up the word wind down because i thought it was spelled wrong--after all that is also wind--as in it will blow you away--but yep it is spelled right)
and midnight was something i only saw when i was forced to work late.

The kid in me who refuses to get old thought i could pull a late nighter--
it didn't matter that i was waking up at 5am--
I thought i could stay up late when i wanted to--
so with that thought i was off to the movies with my oldest daughter and son
at MIDNIGHT.
Tonight found us waiting in line for the debut of Ironman 2

On different occasions we have been those die hard people who are off to see the new release of a movie at midnight--me a person who doesn't care for crowds or waiting in line has been one of those people that can't wait 12 more hours to see the movie at a reasonable hour. One thing that seeing a movie at midnight has going for it is that it is an EXPERIENCE. If you are a people watcher (which i am) it is like winning the lottery of wierdness. Only in the dark of night do some of these people venture out--only because they are too strange fit into normal society--fantasy movies really bring them out in all costumed garb--this movie however did not have much by way of wierdo's--atleast none that i saw (what a disappointment)

Bottom line--i was awake until the movie started--once the previews were over and the lights really went down...so did my eyes. People ask me how it was--and i honestly repond.."the parts i saw were good"--the only thing that kept me awake toward the end was all the soda i had drank earlier--my poor bladder was so full--but i refused to leave the movie and go to the bathroom--I mean i didn't want to miss it??? Actually i figured if i was uncomfortable enough it would have to keep me awake--and it did.


I came home thinking i would crash until i had to get up in 3 hours--NOPE--i slept like crap. I was so worried that i was going to oversleep for work that i kept waking up--until it was finally time to really get up--dragging myself all the way. Was it worth it--Probably not--but somewher along the way i still want to hang out with my kids--and sometimes they ask you to be there friend at odd times of the night
--and i will continue to do it--
nextime,
just let me take a nap first

No Good Deed goes Unpunished...

Where has the time gone--
FLOWN BY--i say!
Was it really December when i last posted?
Some how life has gotten crazy,
crazy busy--
crazy, crazy, busy
to the point where i have been too tired to put two thoughts together
let alone an entire statement.
I would love to play catch up on what has been going on--
but....
that is not going to happen tonight.
So instead I will write about this weeks adventure/trial/blessing....
I guess i will decide which category it fits in once it is over.....

Since the hubby has been on the High Council our time together on Sundays has been reduced. Most Sundays he is in the ward he is assigned to and then once a month or so he gets the chance to speak in other various wards. On occasion i am able to go hear him speak--but more often than not I don't. When he speaks he is responsible to get another speaker to go with him chosen from a list. Once in awhile that list is short and he has to scramble for another speaker--this happened last summer and he was willing to volunteer me, and I in turn quickly volunteered my oldest daughter who was returning from Africa a few days before he needed a speaker. Missing her family, my daughter was quick to oblige her fathers request, and there for took me off the hook. I had dodged the bullet--for now....

Fast forward 8 months and once again it found my husband scrambling for a companion speaker--to which he informed me that I was his companion and I would get to speak with him--to which i promptly told him--"Yeah, I don't think so....". He then went to try and find someone else off the list--toward the end of the week he again mentioned that he needed me--much like my children I pretended like I didn't hear him--because if you don't actually hear the request it doesn't really count--Right? The poor guy resorted to sending me an e-mail to inform me that "I" was the chosen one--(i pretended that i hadn't read it) He inquired if i had checked my e-mail because now it was official--poor guy--i sorta blew his request off--chuckling under my breath the whole time. He then gave me the talk I was supposed to speak on Saturday night and told me i could have my choice of talks--some how I wasn't feeling it. I went to bed--I was tired, not knowing what i was going to speak on. My husband woke up the next morning and went to a meeting not knowing if i was really going to speak with him or not.(Poor guy--I really shouldn't have made him sweat) While he was gone i looked up some talks about some things i had been thinking about and formulated some ideas on what i would speak on. Nothing was really written down--I was not sure what direction I was really going in--I just knew I was going. My poor husband confided in me that he didn't actually know i was going to speak with him till i was walking out the door with him--I always knew i was--I guess i just like to see him sweat sometimes. So I gave my talk--I thought he had told me that i had 20 minutes--he said that he told me 12--anyway i took the 20 minutes plus 5 more i guess. I think i did OK. I had many people tell me that it was something that they needed to hear--and i thought that was it.....that it was over.
BUT.....
It wasn't.
There are times when you shouldn't do a good job speaking--like when a member of the stake presidency is sitting there and stake conference is coming up. YUP I got a call. I am one of the lucky ones that gets to speak in stake conference. I am feeling inadequate--nervous. I am wondering what i am supposed to say--what message i need to get across. All i can do is prepare and put the rest in the lords hands--that he will direct my thoughts to convey the message that needs to be given Saturday night. I will let you know if it works or not....

Easter at the Cabin

Easter came early this year. I can't remember when the last time it fell over General Conference weekend. It worked out well.Usually we get together with my husbands family for Easter so, between being off on Good Friday, and being able to watch church/conference on Saturday and Sunday--we figured we could watch conference up at the cabin just as easy as we could at home. It was a grand weekend of wonderful weather and everyone was able to play between the sessions of conference. Even my married niece and nephew and their spouses were able to hang out with us. The only one that was missing was my dear nephew who was off serving his mission in New York. Here is Grandma with all the grandkids and even the grand-dogs. Since the kids were little we have always done an Easter egg hunt with the cousins. It seems to be something that no matter their age they have yet to outgrow. Even the married kids still want to participate. They teenagers are not so much interested in the candy these days, as they are the money and gift cards that are involved. This year Grandma had this idea, that instead of a normal Easter egg hunt, that we should have the kids break into pairs and do an Easter egg scavenger hunt around the property. She went out and scouted spots and then wrote up little rhymes to put in the eggs. It was quite the ordeal. We didn't want the kids to all have the same clues at the same time so we staggered the clues--it was crazy trying to get it all figured out and we took the majority of the evening before figuring how it would work out. The next day we sent the men out to "place" the eggs. We divided up the families so everyone was paired with a cousin--we didn't want the married couples cheating. They were each given their first clue and then they were off. At this point it was a little bit difficult to take pictures--everyone was moving so fast. The deer just stood by and watched

Even the pregnant girls were running around at the speed of light. the clues were scattered all over the 5 acre property once they found the clue they had to read it and figure out where their next location was some clues were easier to find than others--

some were hidden really well and some of the hints were a bit obscure. and then there were the kids that covered the eggs up so others would not find them.

One set of kids thought that they would just watch where others got their clues from and thought that would get them the prize--it didn't work the way they wanted.

They came in last.

but they still managed to muster up a smile

and had fun in the process.

Little man was having a good time finding his own eggs-- his only had candy--no clues involved for him

he was thrilled with the contents...so was the dog.

the dog kept hoping that a treat might be shared and find its way onto the ground.

Little man was not quite that generous

the first team came in and we proceeded to check their eggs... only to find that they were missing one. Then they had to figure out what clue they had missed. It was hilarious as i watched them run off-- in different directions--and then I heard my niece yelling my sons name as she sprinted the entire way to the last clue. (she was one of the pregnant ones)

They still came in first and with first place came the largest prize. second was close--but they were also missing an egg third place came in rather tired and exhausted from the ordeal

somehow i missed the fourth place team.

All in all I think a good time was had by all involved. The "adults" that sat and watched from the porch enjoyed the spectacle and i think the other adults that were running around had a grand time as well--although there were a few of them that were a tad bit sore the next day.

Definitely will go down in the books as one of the most memorable,

along with the one that took place in the pool-- ever been in a pool in April-- just a tad bit cold hard to believe those are some of the same kids in the other pictures-- like i said earlier, it doesn't matter how old they get-- they still love the hunt

Who are the people in your neighborhood???

Yesterday one of my friends started a new grad class at school--
during it he was texting me--
apparently he was bored and the teachers monotone voice was doing nothing to engage him in the material--then all of a sudden i get a text saying
"She is quoting Mr. Rogers" as in the "It's a bea-ti-ful day in the Neighborhood", Mr. Rogers.
I just had to laugh--I loved Mr. Rogers
I have blogged about Mr. Rogers
and with that blog entry I won a book.
Mr. Rogers was an awesome neighbor
he spoke about being kind to one another
and treating each other with respect--
something i think society is lacking greatly in these days.

As with his song about the beautiful day in the Neighborhood there is another song about Neighborhoods--it has been stuck in my brain all day. At first i thought it was a Mr. Rogers song but then i realized i was channeling Sesame Street as i was singing it. Perhaps you might remember it
"Who are the people in you neighborhood,
in your neighborhood,
in your Neigh-BOR-hood.
Oh who are the people in you neighborhood,
the people that you meet
when your walking down the street,
the people that you meeeeet eaaachhh DAAAAYYYYYY."

I will have to apologize for my singing
we all know it is not my strong suit,
but you get the gist.

Now that i have this little diddy ingrained in your brain
i would like to talk about the people in my neighborhood.

I am the first to say i am not what i would call a GOOD neighbor
that doesn't necessary make me a bad neighbor,
just an INDIFFERENT neighbor.

I say that because in all honesty i really don't know my neighbors.
I will blame a lot of that on just being busy.
I don't even have time for the people I want to spend time with
even those that live in my house,
let alone those that are just living next to me.

Now i know the neighbors next to me are or were in college
they have smoked pot (not that i smelt it but once they called us asking us if we had some to sell--which of course we did NOT)
then there is the artist across the street
(he lets his dogs run loose)
Then right next to us we have had a rental home
we knew the people that owned it--they were young and nice and then they sold it
and since then it has had a variety of college kids inhabiting it.
It is hard to get to know them--
they are busy and had lots of sleepovers
so you never really knew who was actually living there.
I just know that they had parties that were annoying,
especially when they would block my drive way and the front of my house late at night...

So the college kids moved out and he house sat empty for a long time
and we really didn't mind--
in fact we liked having the extra driveway to park in
we thought it made the house looked "lived" in

Finally after the house sat empty for a year and a half
we had people move in--
and not the single, partying type of people
it was a FAMILY!
We were excited,
hopeful...
at least for the first few days...
fast forward to the weekend
and the first family gathering,
and pAr-tehhh
the party itself wasn't the problem--
or the cussing and swearing that took place
or the fighting
and cars squealing off--
it was the domestic abuse in the driveway that my children were privy to that i had a problem with. Call me crazy but i really don't want my kids to be exposed to that...
So the cops were called
and i must say i was impressed with their response time.
Not quite the first impression that i was hoping to have with my new neighbors
Here is hoping that things have no where to go but up?

Bad Dreams

Dreams....
We all have had them at one time or another
Dreams that seem so real that when we wake up we are left wondering if it really happened or not.
I have had dreams where i have had entire conversations with someone only to find out that i really had not....
And then there are those BAD dreams
the ones that leave you cold
wondering if there is any truth to what you dreamed.
I have enjoyed watching the show Medium, although if i had her "gift", I am not sure i would want to go to sleep at night. There is something about the idea of dreaming of the dead and their sad stories that would keep me awake at night.

I remember when i was little i would have a re-occurring dream or nightmare as the case would be--especially for a little kid. To this day i remember the dream--odd as it was. Growing up in Colorado we had storm drains that were open on the curb side of the road and i was always afraid that i would fall into them--so i would go out of my way to avoid them when i was awake, but in my dreams it was a different story. I would dream that there were tar monsters (i think it goes back to when they would resurface the roads in the summer) and they lived in these drains. If you rode your bike (or trike in my case) over them they would grab you, roll you up into a tar ball and bowl you down the hill we lived on. Now i don't remember if they lived in all the storm drains--only the one across the street--
I would wake up scared and it would stay with me--and it kept me on my side of the street--away from the storm drain, just in case there was any truth to this dream i had i didn't want to find out.

Another dream/nightmare i remember having was when i was in my early 20's and working at the wave pool. I would dream about work...that in itself was not so bad but me dreaming i was handcuffed to the grates in the deep end of the wave pool seemed a bit too real when i woke up. I would dream that when the waves would start i could almost get a breath of air when the wave would crest on the other side of me--the word was almost. I don't think it is a healthy thing for a lifeguard to dream about drowning--it creeped me out and seemed real enough that i would NOT go near those grates under any circumstance--EVER

So those are the bad dreams that i can remember--i know i have had others--like the naked at work dreams, or the being chased by a murderer, or the classic falling--but none of my dreams have ever come true--THANK GOODNESS--until now.....

I dreamed on Christmas day that my husbands company called him up and told him that they were coming by to pick up his car and that he no longer had a job--OOOOOHHH the chills when i woke up. It left me cold...wondering...and then i thought this is silly--Hubby has a job--it is Christmas--laugh it off--so i did. I even told my hubby--we laughed at it, because it was just a dream--RIGHT????

WRONG !!!

Little did i know when i shared my nightmare with my husband on Christmas that it would only take a few days for it to come to fruition. I was out shopping and doing returns today when i got a call from my hubby that put my heart in my stomach. He told me in a rather stern manner (which made me mad) "STOP SHOPPING AND QUIT SPENDING MONEY" were his exact words. I thought "what is his problem?" and i even said that--He then replied "They just called from work and are laying me off and coming to get the car" I had a huge pit in my stomach and those words stopped me in my tracks. It was so similar to my dream/nightmare i had had just a few days prior.

We have been in this boat before--in fact only a few months ago and i had no idea that we would be here again so quickly. My hubby is torqued and so am I. We feel betrayed. We were willing to be loyal to them but we see how it is now days--you really do need to look out for yourself and do what is best for you. I hate that attitude--it is so selfish--but before we commit to another company we are gonna want to make sure that they have our back as well....at least enough to give us a heads up or warning that things are not all rosy...

Speaking of roses...

Did i mention our anniversary is tomorrow?--for better or worse--and i guess this is just part of the worse we get to endure together. I know things can always get worser (not sure that is a word but it works for me) we are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, good kids and the support of each other--a job is doable--we will get through this together--now i only hope that i will have a good dream...one that has him getting a really GOOD job....
--SOON.

Get Away...a new found freedom

It goes without being said that I have been on a bit of a blog hiatus—even my non-blogging friend (although she has been known to read them on occasion) can tell me when my last entry was….yes it has indeed been awhile. Much has happened—mostly life has just been busy. I used to wonder when life would return to normal—I have since figured out that BUSY is my normal. I know it will not always be like this, that this is a phase that will pass but for now I am trying to enjoy every minute of it.

It is almost Christmas which means this year is coming to an end...quickly!
I used to love Christmas, the presents, the anticipation, all the decorating.
This year I have been wishing that Christmas came at a different time of year—
say, like June.
I don’t think I am near as busy in June, although it is much warmer that time of year which does not invoke the pictures of a white Christmas—not that it is ever an option living in Phoenix but others might miss it. My December finds every weekend occupied with sitting in gyms watching my children wrestle. It is fun. It is exciting and sometimes it is frustrating, but we love it. Sometimes I feel like we are sacrificing all the Christmas stuff in order to support them in their endeavors—that is why I am thinking June would be better—they are out of school and we need something to keep them busy.RIGHT?

When my kids were little many parents of teenagers would make the comment “You think you are busy now, just wait until they are in high school. I would think to myself, “really how much busier can it be?” I thought I was pretty busy chasing after kids, finding activities to occupy their time, and keeping them out of trouble. I am not sure when it actually changed, but it has. Now they find things to occupy their time, which often involves me driving or supporting them. I no longer control who they play with or choose to spend their time with. When they were little it felt like they were going to be little forever and I didn’t truly realize in the midst of all the daily life how quickly they would be growing up…..and leaving.(sorta)

I have yet to have one actually leave home, she is still hanging around and I love it. Having “older” kids is such a blessing. She has been able to step in and play the role of chauffer and person in charge (I dare say parent because the siblings don’t obey her like they do us) Years ago we had friends that were BYU alumni and they would often fly off to the games leaving their teenagers in charge. It seemed like such a foreign idea, the idea of packing up and leaving for a few days just on a whim? When they were little, the idea of running away sounded wonderful sometimes….but you can’t do that when they are little, somehow they can always find you…even if I was just hiding in the bathroom (not really hiding just with the door shut for a brief moment but they thought I was hiding) Getting away with the hubby involved planning even if it was just for a few hours let alone an evening.
My how things have changed.
Cell phones have helped immensely in the ability to get away. You can be out the door and down the block and still within reach. It was a liberating moment when we were able to go to the movies leaving the oldest in charge for a few hours. After that moment there was no looking back, we had transitioned into some new found freedoms with kids. Originally we limited the cooking, answering the phone and even opening the door to anyone. As they have gotten older and more competent those things have gone by the wayside. A few hours became long days, and finally overnight.

My husband was playing in a annual golf tournament and wanted me to attend with him. I started making arrangements for grandma to come over and stay overnight with the kids. My oldest stated “mom, we can take care of ourselves.” It got me thinking…..Hmmmmm. Could they? Would everything be fine? Then it came down to worse case scenario... we would only be 2 ½ hours away and the grandma’s were both in town, and one lives around the corner if they really needed anything fast. It was then decided that we could indeed embark on this new found freedom….and we have, with very little looking back. This weekend we decided that since I would be busy working on our actual anniversary that is coming up, that I would go with my hubby on his business trip to Vegas. We packed our bags, threw everything in the car and with a wave and a “see ya later” we were out the door and on our way enjoying our new found freedom. It is such a bittersweet feeling to know that you have reached the point in your life where your kids are capable of taking care of themselves and you are not necessary for their every need. It is bittersweet to know that in a few years there might not be anyone around to say “see ya” to…but for now I am going to appreciate those kids that are trustworthy and responsible enough to be left behind, and appreciate the cell phone so they can still call when they have a question, not that they need my answer but just the fact that they value it.

Got Blood?

My son reached a milestone today. He gave his first pint of blood. It should have been a rather uneventful event, and for the most part, it was. The giving part went just fine. I suggested to him that he might want to take it easy at wrestling practice in the afternoon but he informed me that he was going to be giving in the morning and he would “BE FINE!” In his ever wise teenage wisdom what did I really know??? I am just the mom after all, not to mention having had life teaching experiences, especially when it has come to giving blood.

Years ago, I thought I was "fine" shortly after giving blood, and I jumped in the car and was off. Shortly there after, I felt the overcoming feeling of darkness over me. Luckily I was able to pull over before I actually did pass out, but it made for a scary afternoon (all before cell phones were available to contact someone) I explained this to him and told him he might be tired. Again his response was “I’ll be fine”, so I gave up trying to convince him otherwise, he sometimes can be a rather stubborn kid (I have NO idea where he gets that characteristic from)

I went to pick him up from wrestling practice that afternoon. He then informed me that prior to practice he had taken off the compression bandage that they had taped him up with after giving blood. He had felt fine and was working out with his partner when he noticed some blood on him. Blood in the wrestling room is not such an unusual thing, so he started looking at his partner thinking it was coming from him. It wasn’t. My son checked his nose—nope, wasn’t him either, or so he thought. Upon further examination he looked at his arm and in his words it was SPURTING. He told me, “Mom there was blood all over the mat and my shirt was covered in it.” He headed off to the trainers office where she had him dispose of his shirt treating it as a hazardous material. She got him taped up and told him to take it easy….he listened to her????

09/09/09

i feel like this date warrants something to be said
something profound
and yet....
I got nuthin'!
My brain is a void of anything notable or noteworthy
so instead you will get my ramblings
and even though i have nothing of real insight to say i do want it stated that i do know how to spell "nothing"....so onto my thoughts...all 9 of them to celebrate 9/9/09

1. Sometimes Taco Bell just tastes good--but not the second time around--
2. Why do i feel the need to have a glass of water at my bedside every night and yet i rarely ever drink it?
3. It is a good thing that gum doesn't really stay in your body for 7 years--i am a gum swallower--I try not to be--but i can't help it. I haven't checked to make sure it really does comes out but at this point if it didn't,the whole of my insides would be white gooey sticky stuff if that wives tale were true
4.I love the smell of a new bus--similar to a new car smell but on a much larger scale--(and i don't have to pay for it)although today a girl said that my new bus smelled like bologna and old leather--does that equate to new bus smell, I am not sure?
5. My kids just crack me up--they are growing into neat people...
6. With that being said about my kids why does their personal belief and reality of the moment differ so much when progress reports come out? And why am i the bad guy when i get upset about less than adequate grades
7. And on the similar subject--when did it become politically correct to give a kid an "E" instead of calling it what it is--an "F" as in "failing"--is an "E" supposed to make us feel better about the grade since it is one letter closer to a D?
8.I love to brush my teeth in the shower--feel like i can give them a much better scrub in there than over the sink--i don't know why--just do
9.i am sitting next to my youngest punk in dis-belief that he will be 8 years old tomorrow--why is this so hard to believe? In some ways it seems like we have been dealing with him and his issues F-O-R-E-V-E-R and that he has always been here--and then on the other hand his is still so young and learning new things. Just tonight he put on his pajama pants by himself--not a big deal for a "normal" 8 year old--but he is anything but "normal". In 8 short years he has made me stop and appreciate the little things--so many little things that i took for granted. Even with all his issues i am so thankful that he became the caboose for our family--

now that is notable, noteworthy and profound--and if i really wanted to i could ramble on for hours about this kid and the joy he gives me and our family, but i won't...I will save that for his birthday.