Tuesday, April 28, 2009

When CPS comes for a visit

I debated writing about this--
mostly out of embarrassment...
but as stated in my title--"LIFE HAPPENS" and this is my life--honest and true...
I mean--what good mom has CPS come for a visit?
Well just for the record--this one did. Not that i am a perfect mom

--UMMM--no way, now how,
but i do NOT warrant a visit from people who are the watch dogs of parenting.

It all started with a card at our door...
we were left perplexed but there was no note attached and none of the kids knew anything about it...we let it go at that and did nothing with it--
So yesterday i received a call from a gentleman at CPS stating that he needed to come out and meet with me--a complaint had been filed on little man coming to school with a dirty face

and soiled diapers....and they worried about neglect.


I was SHOCKED
--hurt--
upset,
and then (excuse my french)
just PISSED!!!


Give me a break!
First and foremost even before he is a child with special needs
he is a BOY
--a seven year old BOY...
who loves the dirt.

At grandma's house his favorite pass time is to sit in the holes that his friend Turbo the Dog has dug for him. Turbo sits by and watches as my boy appreciates his handy work--smoothing it out--
I have given up trying to stop him--does that make me a bad mom? Have you ever tried to keep a boy clean and spotless--not an easy task. I will admit--sometimes he does have a dirty face--

but that is only after he has already had a shower for the day and started out in clean clothes. Never has he gone to school in already dirty clothes--they start out clean everyday--but come on people.... a dirty face?

Does this dirty face look neglected?


--that my friends is a face of happiness...

This kid bathes/showers more than my 12 year old (not that that is hard to do) In fact i told the guy from CPS that if that was a benchmark they should be taking the 12 year old away--we have to constantly stay on him to get him to shower these days--i will be happy when the summer is here and there is pool water involved--not that that constitutes bathing but at least the water will be touching his skin and he will realize he won't melt away...I digress....

As far as the dirty diapers go---lets talk shall we? If he could control his bowel movements he would not be in diapers...I have NO control when he goes...again he starts out in a clean one--and while we are on the subject what about the fact most days he comes home off the bus POOP-EE? Do you see me filling a complaint? I might complain but i do not seek out the authorities for this....

When little man was in Preschool i would often get a call from the school nurse anytime he would show up with a new bruise. It really bothered me at first and once i even made the comment "have you seen the kid walk?" He was not the most stable child--he even gave his aid nightmares about falling...and I soon realized that they had to document everything for their protection...Did CPS ever show up then? NO!!!

It bothered me to think i was wasting the time of someone who was already overtaxed,and taking him away from children who really do need his services. He told me that they get a lot of referrals like this that amount to nothing....and that as soon as he left he would forget me. It bothers me to think that everyone can scrutinize me and the job i am doing and if they don't like it they can place a call. If they think having a child with special needs is easy--have at it. They can borrow him for a day, even a few hours and see how crazy he can make your life...and how clean you can keep his face...

Can i also comment that never mind the fact that he has therapists(yes, that's plural) that come into our home on a weekly basis and if they saw him being neglected/abused they would be the first to call--or how about his case manager that i meet with on a quarterly basis--no calls being made there....

More than anything I was hurt...while the man from CPS cannot say who filed the complaint it was evident to me that someone from his school did. It upset me that the people i put my trust in to take care of him do not trust me. In my mind i know that they do this to protect children but COME ON--neglect? He won't let you neglect him--and if you happen to--he tears up the house--even when you are watching him he is the TASMANIAN DEVIL....He has 6 others that love him and watch out for him on a constant basis

--more than most kids have...
he his happy...

he is healthy
and he is a BOY.....

he gets dirty...

but not because he is neglected!


4 comments:

Lawdoll said...

Believe it or not, but a lot of good parents have CPS show up at their door...a lot of good parents loose their children due to false allegations and lies of abuse....

It happens all the time, but until it happens to you or someone you know, you live life unaware of the power and control CPS has over your life....be careful.

So what do you do when CPS doesn't come for a visit, but forges and falsifies documents saying they did...

Visit my blog: http://stopcorruptdss.wordpress.com

OK said...

This is just horrible. I am bothered thinking of it. I am a foster parent. And CPS never even cares about stuff here. I mean, if a parent does drugs, they are still very slow to judge the situation. They have to be severely worked over for someone to care. A dirty face...that freaks me out. I wish you could go and check on him at school, and make the comment that you are just being SURE they are caring for your son. Well, wrong wording, but still...I would be upset too!

sandalloons40 said...

Leann, Let's talk sometimes at the Scrapbook store or you can call me at 480-659-6661 or my cell number 480-980-6613. I want to tell you sorry and that ticks me off.
I agree, let CPS or the school system raise him for the day and I guarantee, they would bring him back to you! I mean my austistic son, has he has 4 other disorders of mental illiness.
I dont' like CPS, and if I ever get my book published titled:and you think it would never happen to you!, I would change their name.

To date, before he was place in now his second group home agency, I was called on 5 times and investigated twice. Once from a DDD supervisor and talked about Pissed. the thing with me is I always found whom called.
Ok, well reassured this has happened to me also and not fair.

now two calls have accured at each group home. The recent call, 1 week ago was against the group home for a rug burn on Andrew. He got restrained the night before.
sure Andrew potty trained late and continued to have accidents.

Yikes, don't they have anything else to do.

Bottom line come August, he will be in a new school. No trust there.
They are supposed to be helping my child. my husband always says: God knows what they did, and he will take care of them.

so sorry!

Kari Whiting said...

i loved this post. not because you got CPS called on you but because it is the truth!! I mean come on your right, boys will be boys and they get dirty. i would probably be in the same boat with you if my kids were in school. they are pretty much always dirty no matter how much i wash them and they each poop about 5 times a day. that's 10 poops a day, hello!! I'm sorry this happened to you but i'm glad you wrote about it, i'm glad you can have a sense of humor about it too, even if you were mad, which you have every right to be. i sure love you and your family!!