WORDS CAN CUT DEEP

it is interesting how words can change the way you view something or someone. Words can change your mood. Words can leave you with a sadness or a pit in your stomach. In procrastinating last week i had been putting off filling out forms regarding Alex and his upcoming IEP meeting. I did fill them out and today was the day for the meeting. I met with all his teachers and therapists, who have done their own evaluations on Alex. It goes back to me and my glass half full attitude--I choose to focus on the things he is able to do and the progress he continues to make. They did the same thing for the most part and then came the synopsis of all information that has been gathered from their standardized tests--one simple word--MODERATE--the word by itself doesn't seem so bad, but it left me holding back tears. I don't know if i am ready to verbalize it all yet---maybe i am in denial, i guess according to them i am. I am thankful for his teacher and her support of Alex and the view I have of him. I will try to expound more on this in the morning when my head is a little bit more clear.

I've always believed

that you can think

positive

just as well

as you can think

negative.

---

Sugar Ray Robinson

WoNderFuL Weekend

This was a fantastic weekend. I had so many wonderful experiences and feel so blessed!!! Friday night I had the chance to attend a play at the new Tempe Center of the Arts--it was fantastic! I love going to cultural things--it makes me feel so grown-up. The play was "A tale of two city's". Although it is normally a book you read in school--I don't remember reading it. I loved the fact that it made me think-- It was in the tiny theater-so intimate and close up (which is a good thing since i forgot my glasses) I was with a group of ladies that i just love from church--I love that at 39 years old i was the baby of the group. I love having friends at different stations in life. I feel we have so much to learn from each other and i love the fact that i am so blessed with these friendships. Every person brings such different things to the table......

On Saturday i had the chance to attend the temple as one of my dear friends daughter went through. It was so fun being there with my closest friends. We are all so busy and getting together can be such a challenge most days--but when it is important i know that we are there for each other. Friends are the greatest.

"A friend

is one who strengthens

you with prayers,

blesses you with love

and encourages you with hope”

---

Arabian Proverb

After the temple I ran to the church and listened to the some wonderful talks addressed to the young women of the church. What a blessing to have the knowledge of a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us to be happy. When it was over just the girls went to dinner--me,my neice, sis-in-law and my two girls. What a wonderful way to end the evening--just enjoying each others company.They are growing up so fast!!!

And last but not least my good friends are here thawing out from the chilly state of Michigan. I love having them here in AZ--we became good friends 10 years ago just after we moved in our house and they were walking their new baby--now 5 children later here they are--hangin and chillin out with us when they can squeeze us in. We love having them visit--it is as if no time has passed since they left--just such a comfortable frienship---actually more like family. Isn't it true that our friends are the family we choose?!

self imposed GUILT

I need to quit being so profound--i am giving myself a serious guilt trip. It seemed i was much happier before i started to blog about things i need to change in my life. I just kinda floated along. So today I didn't have to work and i figured i could go to the scrapbook store and do the make and take--I am riddled with GUILT. I should have been home crossing things off my list--after all a trip to the scrapbook store was NOT on the list. And then that whole want and need thing kept popping into my brain as i was aimlessly wandering the store--"Do I really need any of this?" NO!!!! and yet $30. later i walked out with a lovely bag of goodies--WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? I need to get some control over my life--It would be one thing if i even had a place to put my new purchases but my office is out of control!! I did try to make amends with myself and i did clear a path into the room--that is a start--RIGHT?

a Step in the right direction

Funny day.

So in the hopes of changing my wicked ways {ie: procrastination} I made a list—checked it twice and proceeded to do things so I could have the satisfaction of crossing them off.(yes, I did add some things to the list just so I could feel like i was accomplishing something) What an exhilarating feeling to cross off some nagging tasks. I will say that there are a number of things that did not get put on the list even though I have been putting them off and off. I am starting with baby steps and trying to accomplish those things that I know I can do, but just hate—like listening to the 50 million voice mails and clearing that all out—DID IT!! I can cross that one off the list. I came to the realization that some of the things that i have to do kinda depress me so instead of accomplishing them i avoid them instead. I did finish up some of Alex' paper work and i just tried to focus on the things that i know he can do and the progress that HE is making--not trying to measure it against anyone or anything else. Another one of the things that I have been thinking about {like for the last 2 years} was making the annual doctor appointment with the favorite OB/GYN. {That is always something I look so forward to so I don’t know why I been procrastinating that one?—{note sarcasm} I figured while I was waiting today I would cross some of these things off my list—so I called home and had Jo get me the phone #. The conversation went something like this
M: “Jo can you get me Dr. L’s phone #”
J: “Why?” [note hesitation in voice]
M: “because I need it”
J: “WHY?”
M: “because I haven’t been in a few years”
J: “Umm, what kind of doctor is he again?”
M: “He is an OB/GYN
-----DEAD SILENCE-----
Insert pregnant pause here--{yes the pun is intended},Me snickering under my breath as I think about the things going through her mind about now--
M: No, Jo I am not pregnant
J: [sigh of relief] oh good, I thought you had that all fixed.
M: yes Jo, I am done with that part but I still have to get things looked at periodically. Lucky ME.
J: OK, here is the #

Am I truly an EVIL person for tormenting my poor teenager?
But I get such JOY in it sometimes……

Different subject: Who out there has a favorite pair of skinny jeans? My friend Alli just bought a pair for $100.—I thought she was crazy but she responded that they made her feel good and who can put a price on that? Well I guess I had my skinny jeans on today because not 1 but 2 people commented that it looked like I had lost weight—WHAT? Could it be true—NO—but made me feel good anyway. By the way, the skinny jeans are called “instantly slimming” from that great box store called “Wal-Mart” and I think they cost me less than $20. Just makes me laugh—I was feeling “BLAH” about myself in my jeans, frumpy old navy t-shirt and my Keens and it is amazing how 2 simple comments can turn the day around. This is now my favorite outfit.

Quit procrastinating and become a WINNER

I am a winner!!! I always knew that i was a winner but it is official now. I was looking at Stacy's blog and there i was--bright and cheery. I am going to get a copy of her Photo Freedom book, just for putting on a sweater and taking my picture, which i almost didn't do. I guess it just goes to prove that sometimes you just have to
take the time to make things happen.
So i am thinking about other things that i have been dragging my feet about.
WHY oh WHY do i put off those things that i want/need to do?
I have been lacking real motivation in my life as of late. In looking up quotes about procrastination I hope it will get me moving--here are some for you think about.
Procrastination is a bad habit that has been around since people had things to do, and reasons not to do it. If you are taking steps to overcoming your habit of procrastinating, here are some inspiring and witty quotes that cut to the quick. They will amuse you and motivate you to persevere in kicking the bad habit, with their refreshing honesty echoing thoughts that we often harbor without realizing our folly.

Regardless of our level of procrastination, it's much easier to be ashamed about being late than it is to feel ashamed about finishing the task or making the decision, only to be told we've performed poorly. In this way, procrastination actually protects us from tapping into this pool of deeper feelings we'd just as soon avoid.
KAREN E. PETERSON, The Tomorrow Trap

The two rules of procrastination:

1) Do it today.

2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow.

~Author Unknown

Someday is not a day of the week.

~Author Unknown

Only put off until tomorrow

what you are willing to die having left undone.

Pablo Picasso

The best way to get something done is to begin.

~Author Unknown

So here is my challenge to me--find a task you have been putting off/ignoring and start now to make it happen. I am expecting to report back--and i want to hear from those of you who are in the proverbial procrastination boat with me--what changes are you making, and what are you accomplishing? It doesn't have to be anything big--start small but start. I am planning to....

........SOMEDAY....I mean TODAY

Change

Why are we so resistant to change? It took me years to finally embrace the computer age and for the most part i am glad. When things are not working the right way it drives me crazy but i am proud that i am starting to figure it out. My blog was doing weird things and after reading what appeared to be a foreign language i did figure out where the problem was. I am not exactly sure what i did to fix it but it IS! So i am trying to step up with the times but in what other ways are we set in our ways? Why do we become so complacent in our lives? Jo went on a date the other night and the young man that she went with was resistant to most of the date. They went to a restaurant that was out of his comfort zone and the swing dancing did NOT get him moving. She doesn't think she will go out with him again. We talked about how sometimes you do things that maybe you wouldn't normally do to try and make another person happy,except he wasn't even willing to try. Sometimes we narrow our lives so much that we aren't even willing to consider something new--I guess we should look at these things as opportunities of growth. Now I'm not saying that if you "Try it you'll like it"--but maybe you will. When it comes to food i am always willing to give it a taste because i have found that my tastes have changed as i have gotten older--I have broadened my horizons. Sometimes change brings untold blessings that we would have never received if we hadn't taken the chance.


Then, without realizing it,
you try to improve yourself
at the start of each new day;
of course,
you achieve quite a lot
in the course of time.
Anyone can do this,
it costs nothing
and is certainly very helpful.
Whoever doesn't know it
must learn and find by experience
that a quiet conscience makes one strong.
----
ANNE FRANK

Long drives lead to random thoughts

Nothing like a long drive to Yuma to get your brain thinking--or not. It is funny how my mind randomly rambles from thought to thought. So here are a few of them.

Lately i have been driving the little car that does not have a radio in it--it is amazing how you can really think when things are quiet, but yesterday i actually had the van, which does have a radio in it.It is amazing how music can invoke such strong feelings. I was really listening to a song on the radio and my eyes started tearing up. The words just hit me so strongly--i guess despite the hard shell that i try to show everyone I am really just a marshmallow center.

There is a short cut from Gila Bend to Maricopa that we fondly refer to as "Dead Cow Road"--only i haven't seen any dead or alive cows this entire year!? Are we going to have to change the name? And if we do will people know what we are talking about? Maybe we could call it the dippy do road--up and down the bus goes--as the "wheels on the bus go round and round".........

As i was coming home in the dark i would catch little field mice daring to race the bus across the road. It made me think of one of my favorite books growing up. I am sure that many of you have read it "The mouse and the motorcycle" by Beverly Cleary. I was trying to think why this book was so endearing to me? Maybe it is the fact that Ralph (the mouse) wanted more than to live a simple life that everyone expected of him. It brought a smile on my face to think about the joy that this book gave me as i grew up--there is nothing like an oldie but goodie. I think i am going to find it and re-read it for the fun of it.

The most important wisdom I can offer

is to never let others define your horizons.

Identify what success means to you

and then keep your eye on that prize.

-----

Kay Koplovitz

Late night Learning curve

As many of you know I like to take pictures--loved the film camera, but DIGITAL--wow wee. It isn't too hard to go crazy. So what to do with all these pictures? I took a ton during wrestling season and I told the boys i would make a video. Little did i know i would have one day to put it together--Thank goodness for the last minute [this is thee official credo of the procrastinators club] Now in most things this would not be a big deal--but being computer challenged and never having done this before......you get the picture. With a crash course from a friend and a very late night or early morning i did manage to get it done. When the clock hit 5:30am I decided that i should quit and get a hour of sleep or so. I did enjoy the creative part of the process but found the computer freezing up rather frustrating. I will go on record that i think i did a pretty good job putting it together {insert pat on the back} but trying to figure out how to get it off the computer onto a disk proved more than i could handle--so for the banquet we ran it off the computer with one tiny little speaker. Now to make up for the lack of sleep...zzzzz


I'm feeling so good.
I feel like a million bucks.
I'm focused, I'm alert,
I'm zippy and at the top of my game..
I've never felt better!
I'm sharp as a tack right now.
And what's weird is that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night.
And they say that's the most important thing..
Or is it breakfast they said?
..That's the most important meal of the day, breakfast...yes.
And then it's 'i' before 'e' I know that..
Um..
diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dog is a man's best friend..
What was I talking about?..
Oh that's right,
that I feel great and I'm at the top of my game.
And it's odd because
I didn't get hardly any sleep last night.
And, they say that's the most important thing............

GOODNIGHT ALL

HaPpY EaSteR

It is a BeAuTiFuL day in the neighborhood.

When i read that line I can't help but start singing the song in my head. I was one of Mr. Rogers greatest fans--in spite of my 3 brothers and their trying to diss the man. He had such a peace about him--and for those who don't know, he would have turned 80 years old last week. I was made aware of this fact by Staci who was having a blog party (she's the altogether Happy person) in celebration of Mr. Rogers. So what was it about him that endeared so many to him?

" He maintained his principles in the face of temptation and pressure, proving that being gentle is not the same as being weak and that the really important things don't change.
In the end we are better people, both children and adults, because of Mr. Rogers. He held up a mirror to us so we could see ourselves. He helped us see that we were special. And he showed us that everyone else is special too, deserving of love and respect and care.

For Mr. Rogers, his sweater was an icon. With that same spirit we were challenged to take a picture with our favorite sweater. I feel that living in AZ where our beautiful days are currently in the 80's, has me at a bit of a "SWEAT"her dis-advantage. I waited till the sun went down, and broke out the robins egg blue cardigan. It just seemed to scream SpRiNg at me, and it came in handy as the temperature finally dropped. On a day where i was behind the camera catching all my families Easter activities, I am grateful for the chance to step around to the front and have my daughter take this lovely shot of me.

So what did you do with your BeAuTiFuL day? Did you spend it with family like i did? We went to church and i feel so blessed for having the peace that comes with the belief in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.We spent the afternoon with our extended family for dinner and enjoyed the company of my nephew who has been gone the last 2 years on a mission. It is amazing to see the growth that has occured while he has been serving. He has set such a great example for my kids. Even though the is more man than kid now, he was still up for the Easter egg hunt. All kids participated--those married, return missionary and teenagers. For the first time ever my little one understood what was going on and really got into it. While the older kids were looking for the eggs with the cash and gift cards, my little one was more than content with the Play-doh and candy. When all was said and done it was the empty eggs that kept him entertained. Sometimes it is the simple things that bring the most JOY. For me the joy came in just being with my family. I am soo---oooo blessed.

We made some yummy desserts and enjoyed our time in the kitchen with one another. I don't think i could ever have a kitchen big enough to accommodate all those that like to cook in our family.(would like to try though)I think it is our love of food, and the memories that food invokes, and the time we can spend together in preparing those things we enjoy. We made some Pavlova and my daughter did a great job making it look pretty. I only wish i would have taken a picture of the final product--it was gone before i knew it. We also tried a new recipe for a lemon tart--and "TART" it was. And last but not least a berry kuchen--YUMMY. Nothing like having some variety in your sugar and cream consumption.

In the eternal scheme of things,

this evening is as brief

as the twinkling of an eye

yet such twinklings

is what eternity is made of.

----

Mr. Rogers

15 reasons Mr. Rogers was the best neighbor ever
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/5943

ACHIEVEMENT is NOT OVERATED

"Achievement

seems to be connected with action.

Successful men and women keep moving.

They make mistakes,

but they don't quit."

---

Conrad Hilton

When things in life get hard, sometimes it is easier to quit than to press forward and achieve the goal. And often you don't realize what you really give up in the process. Yesterday there were times when it would have been easier to just call it a day and wait for those young legs to make it back to where I thought about giving up--but i didn't--I pressed forward and saw the blessing of reaching my goal--an incredible view and the respect of my children and nephews.





When the day started I didn't realize that i would be racing to the top of the mountain with a bunch of proverbial "Hares", and I in turn was the "Tortoise" of the group---and while slow and steady did not WIN the race it did FINISH it. It turned out to be a rather warm day but beautiful none the less--lots of things blooming in the desert--I think we caught the end of the flowers as it is getting too warm to keep them alive for much longer.

I learned some things about my son Ryan yesterday that really surprised me.[Mind you, this is the same child who hours earlier was saying that he wanted to be a stunt man when he grew up.] I didn't think he knew what "FEAR" was and I found out that he has a healthy dose of it when it comes to HEIGHTS. In the process of making it to the top of Pichacho there are places where you have to use cables to help you scale some steep rock areas. They are quite steep and close to the edge in some spots. This had him rather unglued at the prospect of continuing .....

--he made it up the first incline but was determined that was all he could do. We sat and talked for a bit and we decided to press forward, (secretly i was thinking that i now had a buddy to move along slowly with me) once he made it past the next area he left me in his dust. That was it--he was off to continue the race.

I am proud of him for facing that fear and working past it--I am sure that he will have other days where he will have to address the issue but he has this experience to look back on and realize that he can succeed in spite of the fear .

Sometimes your kids can really amaze you. It was interesting listening to the kids talk about the things that they are afraid of and how the have overcome some of these fears or how they continue to deal with them--{like monsters under the bed}

Blake played a short lived game of "kick the cactus" and a big red headed black bodied bug decided to play a game of tag and Blake was it. This bug "attacked" him and sent him running all over the mountainside. They decided that this bugs name was "ANT" Leigh Ann

I love the way the desert looks basking in the late afternoon sun,it is amazing how it radiates and glows against the mountains. I have decide that this is probably my favorite time of the day to be out in nature. There is an amazing calmness and beauty that occurs just before sunset, and while we do have some incredible sunsets, it is the hour or so before that washes the earth with a golden glow that i really love. It really warms my heart and gives me a peace that is hard to explain

I enjoyed the time with my brother and just talking and hanging out with him. Life is so busy that it is not often that we get that chance. He stayed with the kids on the way up and with me on the way back--i figure he was the safety officer of the group. I thought we would have enough water with everyone having their own camelbacks--and i was wrong, so the extra water he brought was a real lifesaver. He also had the duct tape handy when I needed it for some hot spots that were popping up on my toes--gotta love the duct tape and the many uses it has.Thank goodness for an eagle scout and his being prepared-it made for a much more enjoyable trip.

We didn't make it to the ostrich farm--we got off the mountain too late, so we will save that for another day--the kids wanted to go back today. Unfortunately, today we need get back to real life and accomplish those things we ignored yesterday. Welcome back to the real world. I must say though--each step i take today reminds me of what i did yesterday--MY CALVES ARE KILLING ME.

“I'm glad I did it,

partly because it was worth it,

but mostly because I shall never have to do it again”

------
Mark Twain