Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The truth about nut crackers


What is Christmas without a few nutcrackers standing around?

They seem innocent enough. Mild mannered until you need them to show their feat of strength by being able to crush some nut with their jaws of death. I have never actually used a nutcracker for this purpose--see i thought our nut crackers were lovers not fighters. I mean look, one even cooked me a turkey and i think the other one was standing guard to make sure everyone used their manners and did not rush him, at least that was what i thought till i looked closer.
Notice the sword that is missing from his hands? Originally i thought he had put it away--being the peace lover and all--until i glanced over at my turkey bearing friend.
I was appalled, mortified!
Sometime during the holidays they had gotten upset with one another and the poor chef ended up with the sword in his throat.....
Oh, the inhumanity of it all--what could have possible happened to provoke this kind of behavior? Maybe he told the soldier that he wasn't going to share his turkey---I have heard that nutcrackers can be like that sometimes. Maybe they were arguing about the size of nuts they could crack and tempers got heated....
I mean he never even uttered a word or scream of discomfort. All the while standing in silence,not that he could have screamed it he wanted too--after all he did have a sword in his mouth....
And there stood his table mate--
looking on--
not even blinking an eye,
with that fierce look painted on his face....
Let it be known by this example that not all nutcrackers can live in peace and harmony--
I can only imagine what happens on those mantels that are full of them.....

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