Saturday, October 25, 2008

emotional day

Today was an emotional day.
The kind of day that makes me want to curl up in a corner and have a good cry.
The kind of day that leaves me drained
and feeling like a wet noodle--
and the lows--

No matter what
you want your kids to do their best--
to be the best person they can be--
This growing up stuff is not for sissy's--
Being a parent means not getting to say
"I told you so"
when you told them so.
Being a parent is about having to watch them fail--
when they fall short of their goals.
when they have made choices you know they would regret later--
those choices that you know they will want to change
if they could.
Watching them swallow that large pill of REGRET--
which we all know is such a hard pill to swallow...

Learning life lessons the hard way--
learning that talent will only take you so far
that hard work is the recipe for success--
that falling short of a goal--HURTS.

There comes a point where you can no longer pick them up
and kiss their hurts goodbye.
Man i hate this part of parenting.
I don't like seeing the disappointment in my kids eyes
when they know they could have done better,
when they know they should have trained harder.
It is not about winning or losing--
it is really about
doing YOUR best.
There will always be someone better than you--
Someone who is having a more perfect day--
but if you gave it everything you had
and did YOUR best--
that is all we can ask--
that is all we do ask.
We are not asking for perfection--
we are not asking for #1

I remember watching my son wrestle
and even though he lost the match
I was soooo proud of him.
I hadn't expected him to win--
(I hoped he would)
but he wrestled that kid the BEST he could that day.
The other kid was better and that was OK.
I remember watching his coach smiling
and proud of him as he came of the mat.
He wasn't proud of him because his hand had been raised in victory--
He was proud (as was I) because win or lose.
he had done his best.
That being said--I have seen kids win
and there was not that sense of pride for that accomplishment
--because they did not do their best.

I think about the Olympics
all those athletes that were there
were the BEST their particular country had to offer--
and yet more went home without medals than with them
(that hog--Michael Phelps)
But that doesn't mean that they were losers--
if they did their personal best
what more could you ask of them?
Some didn't do their very best--
and they will have to live with the what ifs--
of falling short of their own goals.
What made the difference?
Sometimes it hundredth of a second difference....
that left them short of their goal
of being the best--being their best.

All this has made me think about the atonement...
We are so blessed that when we are less than perfect...
or don't work as hard as we should--
when we fall short of our goal
and make mistakes--
the LORD is there to pick us up
to point us in the right direction--
to guide us--
to make up for our shortcomings.
And i know that just like i love my children
and my heart aches when they make mistakes--
that his love for all of us is deep
and he feels our pain.
Often times it is those times of pain
that help us to strive to become better because of it.
If all we knew was success
would we be willing to work hard?
If we never knew failure--
would we even try?
True success comes from overcoming adversity
and growing through it--
becoming better in spite of it.

While it was hard to see my child struggling today--
i know that they have learned from it-
and will be better in spite of it.
All those things I have been saying
have been meaningless until now.
Lesson learned---
now to correct that path....
To start over....

Failure is a signpost
to turn you in another direction.

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