Monday, March 31, 2008

WORDS CAN CUT DEEP

it is interesting how words can change the way you view something or someone. Words can change your mood. Words can leave you with a sadness or a pit in your stomach. In procrastinating last week i had been putting off filling out forms regarding Alex and his upcoming IEP meeting. I did fill them out and today was the day for the meeting. I met with all his teachers and therapists, who have done their own evaluations on Alex. It goes back to me and my glass half full attitude--I choose to focus on the things he is able to do and the progress he continues to make. They did the same thing for the most part and then came the synopsis of all information that has been gathered from their standardized tests--one simple word--MODERATE--the word by itself doesn't seem so bad, but it left me holding back tears. I don't know if i am ready to verbalize it all yet---maybe i am in denial, i guess according to them i am. I am thankful for his teacher and her support of Alex and the view I have of him. I will try to expound more on this in the morning when my head is a little bit more clear.

I've always believed
that you can think
positive
just as well
as you can think
negative.
---
Sugar Ray Robinson

Saturday, March 29, 2008

WoNderFuL Weekend

This was a fantastic weekend. I had so many wonderful experiences and feel so blessed!!! Friday night I had the chance to attend a play at the new Tempe Center of the Arts--it was fantastic! I love going to cultural things--it makes me feel so grown-up. The play was "A tale of two city's". Although it is normally a book you read in school--I don't remember reading it. I loved the fact that it made me think-- It was in the tiny theater-so intimate and close up (which is a good thing since i forgot my glasses) I was with a group of ladies that i just love from church--I love that at 39 years old i was the baby of the group. I love having friends at different stations in life. I feel we have so much to learn from each other and i love the fact that i am so blessed with these friendships. Every person brings such different things to the table......

On Saturday i had the chance to attend the temple as one of my dear friends daughter went through. It was so fun being there with my closest friends. We are all so busy and getting together can be such a challenge most days--but when it is important i know that we are there for each other. Friends are the greatest.


"A friend



is one who strengthens



you with prayers,



blesses you with love



and encourages you with hope”

---

Arabian Proverb




After the temple I ran to the church and listened to the some wonderful talks addressed to the young women of the church. What a blessing to have the knowledge of a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us to be happy. When it was over just the girls went to dinner--me,my neice, sis-in-law and my two girls. What a wonderful way to end the evening--just enjoying each others company.They are growing up so fast!!!

And last but not least my good friends are here thawing out from the chilly state of Michigan. I love having them here in AZ--we became good friends 10 years ago just after we moved in our house and they were walking their new baby--now 5 children later here they are--hangin and chillin out with us when they can squeeze us in. We love having them visit--it is as if no time has passed since they left--just such a comfortable frienship---actually more like family. Isn't it true that our friends are the family we choose?!

Friday, March 28, 2008

self imposed GUILT

I need to quit being so profound--i am giving myself a serious guilt trip. It seemed i was much happier before i started to blog about things i need to change in my life. I just kinda floated along. So today I didn't have to work and i figured i could go to the scrapbook store and do the make and take--I am riddled with GUILT. I should have been home crossing things off my list--after all a trip to the scrapbook store was NOT on the list. And then that whole want and need thing kept popping into my brain as i was aimlessly wandering the store--"Do I really need any of this?" NO!!!! and yet $30. later i walked out with a lovely bag of goodies--WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? I need to get some control over my life--It would be one thing if i even had a place to put my new purchases but my office is out of control!! I did try to make amends with myself and i did clear a path into the room--that is a start--RIGHT?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

a Step in the right direction

Funny day.
So in the hopes of changing my wicked ways {ie: procrastination} I made a list—checked it twice and proceeded to do things so I could have the satisfaction of crossing them off.(yes, I did add some things to the list just so I could feel like i was accomplishing something) What an exhilarating feeling to cross off some nagging tasks. I will say that there are a number of things that did not get put on the list even though I have been putting them off and off. I am starting with baby steps and trying to accomplish those things that I know I can do, but just hate—like listening to the 50 million voice mails and clearing that all out—DID IT!! I can cross that one off the list. I came to the realization that some of the things that i have to do kinda depress me so instead of accomplishing them i avoid them instead. I did finish up some of Alex' paper work and i just tried to focus on the things that i know he can do and the progress that HE is making--not trying to measure it against anyone or anything else. Another one of the things that I have been thinking about {like for the last 2 years} was making the annual doctor appointment with the favorite OB/GYN. {That is always something I look so forward to so I don’t know why I been procrastinating that one?—{note sarcasm} I figured while I was waiting today I would cross some of these things off my list—so I called home and had Jo get me the phone #. The conversation went something like this
M: “Jo can you get me Dr. L’s phone #”
J: “Why?” [note hesitation in voice]
M: “because I need it”
J: “WHY?”
M: “because I haven’t been in a few years”
J: “Umm, what kind of doctor is he again?”
M: “He is an OB/GYN
-----DEAD SILENCE-----
Insert pregnant pause here--{yes the pun is intended},Me snickering under my breath as I think about the things going through her mind about now--
M: No, Jo I am not pregnant
J: [sigh of relief] oh good, I thought you had that all fixed.
M: yes Jo, I am done with that part but I still have to get things looked at periodically. Lucky ME.
J: OK, here is the #

Am I truly an EVIL person for tormenting my poor teenager?
But I get such JOY in it sometimes……

Different subject: Who out there has a favorite pair of skinny jeans? My friend Alli just bought a pair for $100.—I thought she was crazy but she responded that they made her feel good and who can put a price on that? Well I guess I had my skinny jeans on today because not 1 but 2 people commented that it looked like I had lost weightWHAT? Could it be trueNO—but made me feel good anyway. By the way, the skinny jeans are called “instantly slimming” from that great box store called “Wal-Mart” and I think they cost me less than $20. Just makes me laugh—I was feeling “BLAH” about myself in my jeans, frumpy old navy t-shirt and my Keens and it is amazing how 2 simple comments can turn the day around. This is now my favorite outfit.

Quit procrastinating and become a WINNER

I am a winner!!! I always knew that i was a winner but it is official now. I was looking at Stacy's blog and there i was--bright and cheery. I am going to get a copy of her Photo Freedom book, just for putting on a sweater and taking my picture, which i almost didn't do. I guess it just goes to prove that sometimes you just have to
take the time to make things happen.
So i am thinking about other things that i have been dragging my feet about.
WHY oh WHY do i put off those things that i want/need to do?
I have been lacking real motivation in my life as of late. In looking up quotes about procrastination I hope it will get me moving--here are some for you think about.
Procrastination is a bad habit that has been around since people had things to do, and reasons not to do it. If you are taking steps to overcoming your habit of procrastinating, here are some inspiring and witty quotes that cut to the quick. They will amuse you and motivate you to persevere in kicking the bad habit, with their refreshing honesty echoing thoughts that we often harbor without realizing our folly.

Regardless of our level of procrastination, it's much easier to be ashamed about being late than it is to feel ashamed about finishing the task or making the decision, only to be told we've performed poorly. In this way, procrastination actually protects us from tapping into this pool of deeper feelings we'd just as soon avoid.
KAREN E. PETERSON, The Tomorrow Trap



The two rules of procrastination:
1) Do it today.
2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow.
~Author Unknown

Someday is not a day of the week.
~Author Unknown
Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
Pablo Picasso
The best way to get something done is to begin.
~Author Unknown

So here is my challenge to me--find a task you have been putting off/ignoring and start now to make it happen. I am expecting to report back--and i want to hear from those of you who are in the proverbial procrastination boat with me--what changes are you making, and what are you accomplishing? It doesn't have to be anything big--start small but start. I am planning to....
........SOMEDAY....I mean TODAY

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Change

Why are we so resistant to change? It took me years to finally embrace the computer age and for the most part i am glad. When things are not working the right way it drives me crazy but i am proud that i am starting to figure it out. My blog was doing weird things and after reading what appeared to be a foreign language i did figure out where the problem was. I am not exactly sure what i did to fix it but it IS! So i am trying to step up with the times but in what other ways are we set in our ways? Why do we become so complacent in our lives? Jo went on a date the other night and the young man that she went with was resistant to most of the date. They went to a restaurant that was out of his comfort zone and the swing dancing did NOT get him moving. She doesn't think she will go out with him again. We talked about how sometimes you do things that maybe you wouldn't normally do to try and make another person happy,except he wasn't even willing to try. Sometimes we narrow our lives so much that we aren't even willing to consider something new--I guess we should look at these things as opportunities of growth. Now I'm not saying that if you "Try it you'll like it"--but maybe you will. When it comes to food i am always willing to give it a taste because i have found that my tastes have changed as i have gotten older--I have broadened my horizons. Sometimes change brings untold blessings that we would have never received if we hadn't taken the chance.


Then, without realizing it,
you try to improve yourself

at the start of each new day;
of course,

you achieve quite a lot
in the course of time.
Anyone can do this,
it costs nothing

and is certainly very helpful.
Whoever doesn't know it
must learn and find by experience

that a quiet conscience makes one strong.
----
ANNE FRANK

Long drives lead to random thoughts

Nothing like a long drive to Yuma to get your brain thinking--or not. It is funny how my mind randomly rambles from thought to thought. So here are a few of them.

Lately i have been driving the little car that does not have a radio in it--it is amazing how you can really think when things are quiet, but yesterday i actually had the van, which does have a radio in it.It is amazing how music can invoke such strong feelings. I was really listening to a song on the radio and my eyes started tearing up. The words just hit me so strongly--i guess despite the hard shell that i try to show everyone I am really just a marshmallow center.

There is a short cut from Gila Bend to Maricopa that we fondly refer to as "Dead Cow Road"--only i haven't seen any dead or alive cows this entire year!? Are we going to have to change the name? And if we do will people know what we are talking about? Maybe we could call it the dippy do road--up and down the bus goes--as the "wheels on the bus go round and round".........

As i was coming home in the dark i would catch little field mice daring to race the bus across the road. It made me think of one of my favorite books growing up. I am sure that many of you have read it "The mouse and the motorcycle" by Beverly Cleary. I was trying to think why this book was so endearing to me? Maybe it is the fact that Ralph (the mouse) wanted more than to live a simple life that everyone expected of him. It brought a smile on my face to think about the joy that this book gave me as i grew up--there is nothing like an oldie but goodie. I think i am going to find it and re-read it for the fun of it.

The most important wisdom I can offer
is to never let others define your horizons.
Identify what success means to you
and then keep your eye on that prize.
-----
Kay Koplovitz

Monday, March 24, 2008

Late night Learning curve

As many of you know I like to take pictures--loved the film camera, but DIGITAL--wow wee. It isn't too hard to go crazy. So what to do with all these pictures? I took a ton during wrestling season and I told the boys i would make a video. Little did i know i would have one day to put it together--Thank goodness for the last minute [this is thee official credo of the procrastinators club] Now in most things this would not be a big deal--but being computer challenged and never having done this before......you get the picture. With a crash course from a friend and a very late night or early morning i did manage to get it done. When the clock hit 5:30am I decided that i should quit and get a hour of sleep or so. I did enjoy the creative part of the process but found the computer freezing up rather frustrating. I will go on record that i think i did a pretty good job putting it together {insert pat on the back} but trying to figure out how to get it off the computer onto a disk proved more than i could handle--so for the banquet we ran it off the computer with one tiny little speaker. Now to make up for the lack of sleep...zzzzz


I'm feeling so good.
I feel like a million bucks.
I'm focused, I'm alert,
I'm zippy and at the top of my game..
I've never felt better!
I'm sharp as a tack right now.
And what's weird is that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night.
And they say that's the most important thing..
Or is it breakfast they said?
..That's the most important meal of the day, breakfast...yes.
And then it's 'i' before 'e' I know that..
Um..
diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dog is a man's best friend..
What was I talking about?..
Oh that's right,
that I feel great and I'm at the top of my game.
And it's odd because
I didn't get hardly any sleep last night.
And, they say that's the most important thing............

GOODNIGHT ALL

Sunday, March 23, 2008

HaPpY EaSteR

It is a BeAuTiFuL day in the neighborhood.




When i read that line I can't help but start singing the song in my head. I was one of Mr. Rogers greatest fans--in spite of my 3 brothers and their trying to diss the man. He had such a peace about him--and for those who don't know, he would have turned 80 years old last week. I was made aware of this fact by Staci who was having a blog party (she's the altogether Happy person) in celebration of Mr. Rogers. So what was it about him that endeared so many to him?


" He maintained his principles in the face of temptation and pressure, proving that being gentle is not the same as being weak and that the really important things don't change.
In the end we are better people, both children and adults, because of Mr. Rogers. He held up a mirror to us so we could see ourselves. He helped us see that we were special. And
he showed us that everyone else is special too, deserving of love and respect and care.




For Mr. Rogers, his sweater was an icon. With that same spirit we were challenged to take a picture with our favorite sweater. I feel that living in AZ where our beautiful days are currently in the 80's, has me at a bit of a "SWEAT"her dis-advantage. I waited till the sun went down, and broke out the robins egg blue cardigan. It just seemed to scream SpRiNg at me, and it came in handy as the temperature finally dropped. On a day where i was behind the camera catching all my families Easter activities, I am grateful for the chance to step around to the front and have my daughter take this lovely shot of me.



So what did you do with your BeAuTiFuL day? Did you spend it with family like i did? We went to church and i feel so blessed for having the peace that comes with the belief in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.We spent the afternoon with our extended family for dinner and enjoyed the company of my nephew who has been gone the last 2 years on a mission. It is amazing to see the growth that has occured while he has been serving. He has set such a great example for my kids. Even though the is more man than kid now, he was still up for the Easter egg hunt. All kids participated--those married, return missionary and teenagers. For the first time ever my little one understood what was going on and really got into it. While the older kids were looking for the eggs with the cash and gift cards, my little one was more than content with the Play-doh and candy. When all was said and done it was the empty eggs that kept him entertained. Sometimes it is the simple things that bring the most JOY. For me the joy came in just being with my family. I am soo---oooo blessed.

We made some yummy desserts and enjoyed our time in the kitchen with one another. I don't think i could ever have a kitchen big enough to accommodate all those that like to cook in our family.(would like to try though)I think it is our love of food, and the memories that food invokes, and the time we can spend together in preparing those things we enjoy. We made some Pavlova and my daughter did a great job making it look pretty. I only wish i would have taken a picture of the final product--it was gone before i knew it. We also tried a new recipe for a lemon tart--and "TART" it was. And last but not least a berry kuchen--YUMMY. Nothing like having some variety in your sugar and cream consumption.


In the eternal scheme of things,

this evening is as brief

as the twinkling of an eye

yet such twinklings

is what eternity is made of.

----

Mr. Rogers







15 reasons Mr. Rogers was the best neighbor ever
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/5943

Saturday, March 22, 2008

ACHIEVEMENT is NOT OVERATED

"Achievement
seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes,
but they don't quit."
---
Conrad Hilton
When things in life get hard, sometimes it is easier to quit than to press forward and achieve the goal. And often you don't realize what you really give up in the process. Yesterday there were times when it would have been easier to just call it a day and wait for those young legs to make it back to where I thought about giving up--but i didn't--I pressed forward and saw the blessing of reaching my goal--an incredible view and the respect of my children and nephews.





When the day started I didn't realize that i would be racing to the top of the mountain with a bunch of proverbial "Hares", and I in turn was the "Tortoise" of the group---and while slow and steady did not WIN the race it did FINISH it. It turned out to be a rather warm day but beautiful none the less--lots of things blooming in the desert--I think we caught the end of the flowers as it is getting too warm to keep them alive for much longer.






I learned some things about my son Ryan yesterday that really surprised me.[Mind you, this is the same child who hours earlier was saying that he wanted to be a stunt man when he grew up.] I didn't think he knew what "FEAR" was and I found out that he has a healthy dose of it when it comes to HEIGHTS. In the process of making it to the top of Pichacho there are places where you have to use cables to help you scale some steep rock areas. They are quite steep and close to the edge in some spots. This had him rather unglued at the prospect of continuing .....


--he made it up the first incline but was determined that was all he could do. We sat and talked for a bit and we decided to press forward, (secretly i was thinking that i now had a buddy to move along slowly with me) once he made it past the next area he left me in his dust. That was it--he was off to continue the race.



I am proud of him for facing that fear and working past it--I am sure that he will have other days where he will have to address the issue but he has this experience to look back on and realize that he can succeed in spite of the fear .

Sometimes your kids can really amaze you. It was interesting listening to the kids talk about the things that they are afraid of and how the have overcome some of these fears or how they continue to deal with them--{like monsters under the bed}



Blake played a short lived game of "kick the cactus" and a big red headed black bodied bug decided to play a game of tag and Blake was it. This bug "attacked" him and sent him running all over the mountainside. They decided that this bugs name was "ANT" Leigh Ann


I love the way the desert looks basking in the late afternoon sun,it is amazing how it radiates and glows against the mountains. I have decide that this is probably my favorite time of the day to be out in nature. There is an amazing calmness and beauty that occurs just before sunset, and while we do have some incredible sunsets, it is the hour or so before that washes the earth with a golden glow that i really love. It really warms my heart and gives me a peace that is hard to explain


I enjoyed the time with my brother and just talking and hanging out with him. Life is so busy that it is not often that we get that chance. He stayed with the kids on the way up and with me on the way back--i figure he was the safety officer of the group. I thought we would have enough water with everyone having their own camelbacks--and i was wrong, so the extra water he brought was a real lifesaver. He also had the duct tape handy when I needed it for some hot spots that were popping up on my toes--gotta love the duct tape and the many uses it has.Thank goodness for an eagle scout and his being prepared-it made for a much more enjoyable trip.


We didn't make it to the ostrich farm--we got off the mountain too late, so we will save that for another day--the kids wanted to go back today. Unfortunately, today we need get back to real life and accomplish those things we ignored yesterday. Welcome back to the real world. I must say though--each step i take today reminds me of what i did yesterday--MY CALVES ARE KILLING ME.


“I'm glad I did it,

partly because it was worth it,

but mostly because I shall never have to do it again”

------
Mark Twain

Friday, March 21, 2008

Need my zzzzzzzzz.......

Tired,
very tired,
made it home safe.
{Good day.}
Will expound on the events ...
Later
Goodnight all.

While the cats away

THE MICE WILL PLAY......Today is going to be a day of enJOYment. You know the kind of day--everything done just for the fun of it. I am taking the kids hiking to Picacho Peak to soak up the wonderful AZ weather. I can hardly wait--this is something that i have been wanting to do for awhile. Everytime i drive by the mountain on my way to Tucson i think to myself--"i want to go hiking there someday" and then i pass Rooster Cogburns Ostrich Farm--and in my mind it is a must on the "to-do list"--i guess i will find out today. I was feeling rather bummed yesterday as i was planning this out--all the friends that would normally go with me on this kind of adventure were busy or living out of the state. I called my sis-in-law and she was one of those that is working today--but a little while later my brother called and asked about the hiking since he thought he would be done early with work. So we made a plan of it and he is taking a few of his kids as well. It should be a fun day. Truly i do feel as if i tempting fate--hopefully i will hold off the blister gods today as well and since my face and lips are still tender from last week i am going to apply my sunscreen right now.



Have a great day all

Live with Intention.

Walk to the edge.

Listen hard.

Practice wellness.

Play with abandon.

{ LAUGH.}

Choose with no regret.

Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Do what you love.

Live as if this is all there is.

-----

Marianne Radmacher Hershey


Roller Coaster

" Oh, to be only half as wonderful
as my child thought I was
when he was small,
and only half as stupid
as my teenager
now thinks I am."
----
Rebbecca Richards
Umm--yea--that pretty much sums up the afternoon in my life. The said child is now being so kind and wonderful--they want to get back the privileges that were lost. It will be miserable for me--[sometimes the punishments are worse on the parents]. We suffer right along with them--for the mistakes they made as well as the loss of privileges that impacts our life. I think about how our Father in Heaven must feel when he has given us commandments over and over again just to have us disregard them. Don't we realize they are for our own good? He's not saying those things to be mean or make our lives miserable. Why can't we realize that he only has our best interest at heart? And then i look at my children and how much it hurts me when they make bad choices, and i only have 5 children. I can't even imagine how Heavenly Father must feel. Tonight was my nephews baptism, and i am so glad that i attended. My niece sang a beautiful song that i needed to hear the words of
---------------
If the savior stood beside me,would i do the things i do?
Would I think of His commandments
and try harder to be true?
Would i follow his example?
Would i live more righteously?
If i could see the savior standing nigh,
watching over me?
------------
I only hope my children were listening to the words and we ALL will take them to heart. I know there are things in my life that i could improve on. Sometimes i forget that i am still in the role of a child{my heavenly father child}--trying to become a better person--Oh, i have a ways to go
Evening ended on a good note--but man this parenting thing sure can be frustrating at times.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

sPriNg has sPrUng


Since we don't actually have a change of season here in AZ we are required to listen to the news to let us know when it happens. So today is the official first day of spring--{and here i thought it had occurred weeks ago.} We are having the most gorgeous weather right now and i keep reminding myself that is why we live in AZ. The heat will be here soon enough--[UGH]--but for the moment i am enjoying having the windows open, watching the desert bloom and not melting when i get in the car. It is hard to believe that Easter is this weekend--didn't we just celebrate St.Patty's day--where is the time going? My husband and oldest son are off to white water raft this weekend--so I will be left with the rest of the kiddos to have a good time--I am plotting some fun and maybe a LITTLE cleaning--or maybe NOT.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I NeEd hELp--but we knew that

I am in need of some help--i am looking for a photo website that i can post the 1200+ pictures that i have from the Trek. I would like it to be accessed by all who want to see the pictures and order from them. Anyone know of a user friendly site that they are familiar with? I narrowed down my photos to my favorite 400 and need to slim it down some more. My friend had hers narrowed down to 700 as of yesterday--if we go with what we have this video will be a full length feature. I need to start finding some music--get this all put together to send off to the video guy--what a task.

Tin sMiLe No-MoRe

Jake went to the ortho this morning--and got his braces removed. This was an unexpected event but because of some decay made it a necessity. He now realizes that all our harping on him to brush his teeth was for a real reason. Not real pretty--but nothing that money and time in the dental chair can't fix. I am soo--ooo happy about that one. [note sarcasm in statement] Then on the flip side Kaycie won a I-Pod from the ortho for having good hygiene. It is amazing how each kid can be so different. She is thrilled since she has been saving her money to buy her own. {she lost her MP3 and was on her own for a new one} --Who says good hygiene doesn't pay off. SHEESH. For what we are paying in Orthodontics we could have a new car--but really would it smile at you the way those four cute faces do? I think NOT.


· Learn from the mistakes of others.

You can’t live long enough

to make them all yourself.

Elanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Moment of craziness

OK, so I want to know who the person was that wrote all that craziness earlier this morning? My so called words of wisdom have been haunting me all day long as I went shopping. That whole "need" and "want" thing? What is that about? I didn't "need" to go to the scrapbook store but i "wanted" to since it was across the street from where I "wanted" to get a pedicure. Actually I "needed" the pedicure since I promised myself that I deserved it if I came back with all my toenails intact. That and the fact that every woman should have pretty toes for Easter--right? OK, maybe pretty toes is a stretch, because are any toes really pretty? But it does make me feel pretty.


Then I went shopping at Sam's Club-I managed to fit it all in 1 basket but somehow it expanded to 2 at the checkout. OK, maybe I didn't "need" the 36 poptarts, but sometimes that is what you "want" when you are hungry and shopping--that and a new cookbook {like I really "need" one more of those}who knows maybe it will inspire me to "want" to cook all the food that I bought--{or maybe not}--I do like to look at the pretty pictures though. It is always an adventure to try and fit the many tons of food I purchased into the little car---little cars are designed for little families, and the shopping patterns of little families,-not the MAMMOTH sized family that i am trying to feed. With some unique packing I did manage to get it all to fit--YEAH--and brought it home in time to have my family help unload and put it away --GOTTA LOVE THAT!

So my piece oh' crap car reached a milestone tonight as I was pulling up to the house--the odometer read 171717----{well actually the last number flipped to 18 as i stopped at the house.} Anyway, some people have a goal to live to be 100--I have a goal to see this little "go getter" of a car to 200,000 miles--I think it is a doable goal. If I keep the blue beast healthy.... after all its what is under the hood that counts and not the cosmetic value--Right? Which goes to the quote that i was looking for this morning--thanks Melanie for finding it for me.

“Eat it up, wear it out, make it do,
or do without.”
-----
Wise old saying,


Do i need what i want?

Yesterday the thought crossed my mind about "NEEDS" and "WANTS". I think maybe i was more sensitive to this because i had just lived the last few days in humble meager circumstances. As my face continues to hurt and feel gross from the sunburn/windburn that i obtained on the Trek (and that was with sunscreen applied the first day) it made me think about the pioneers and the sunburns they must have had--they didn't even have the option of sunscreen--good shoes, porta potties,warm sleeping bags,charcoal, etc......Even though we were roughing it by todays standards we still did not do without some modern conveniences. So that brings me back to my first line--what do we need in our lives, really? What things could we do without? And what things just add more clutter to our already full homes. As I look around I realize that we are sooo blessed beyond abundance. As i was walking out of the grocery store yesterday i saw this cute little Dalmatian lunch box and i will say "I was tempted" but the thought occurred--"What would I do with it and did I need it?" Both answers were a big fat "NO". It is so easy to drop a few dollars here and there without even thinking if it is a necessity in our lives. We live in a world of instant gratification and yet we have more than any previous generation and yet we "desire" more. When is enough -- enough? I am going to try to simplify my over abundant life, live simpler and appreciate all the many things i am blessed with. Some of the greatest blessings in my life are those things that cannot be seen. I think about my sweet nephew who went from a poverty stricken country and living among very humble people to coming home to a beautiful home that does not know "WANT". What a culture shock he must be feeling.


He is a wise man

who does not grieve

for the things which he has not,

but rejoices for those

which he has.

---

Epictetus




I was looking for the quote about "making do, do without"---anyone know the one i am talking about? Send it to me if you get a chance--Thanks

Monday, March 17, 2008

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY

I can hardly believe that it is already the middle of March--where is this year going? Today is the one day of the year where i know what i am making for dinner--gotta love the corn beef and cabbage and the Irish Soda Bread. Since my house is empty of most food it will be the crazy big trip to Costco/Sam's this morning. I better make sure and eat before i go or the bill at the end might send my family into a recession. Exciting news today--my nephew who has been serving a mission for the last 2years 5weeks in Mexico is coming home tonight. He left for his mission on Valentines Day and is coming home on St. Patty's how funny is that. He is my oldest nephew and i have loved seeing the growth that has accurred in his life these past few years. He left as a boy and has grown into an incredible man. I will miss his weekly letters--it is amazing getting missionary letters each week--it is like a little spiritual lift when they arrive. It is so neat to see how their lives are directed and the blessings that they receive through their service. He is coming home long enough to get released and then will be going back with his family to tour the many areas that he served in . I think it will be a bit of a cultural shock when he gets home.



Lord. take me where you want me to go;
Let me meet who you want me to meet;
Tell me what you want me to say;
and
Keep me out of your way.
------
Father Mychal Judge

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Tender Mercies

It has been so much fun talking more in depth with the youth about this past event. It is neat to hear their perspective and the growth that they encountered. It amazes me how they became so tight with their new "families" and how they learned to work together. These past few weeks we have been praying that we would have good weather and that the site we were going to would dry out---WE WERE SO BLESSED!!!----As i am watching the news tonight and seeing the inclimate weather that is taking place in the high country--I can't help but feel the tender mercy that the lord provided us with. Four years ago when we went it was SOOOOO hot--not so this time. The weather was gorgeous but it was cool at times and when the wind blew--BRRRRR. It made us appreciate all the more what the pioneers dealt with. The ground was dry and hard--thank goodness for a few weeks of NO moisture to make it work. The night of our fireside the wind was blowing quite hard, which made things a bit chilly and hard to hear. Several people got together and said a prayer that the winds would subside so the kids could hear the things that were being said and feel the spirit. Again another tender mercy, a testimony of faith, and the power of prayer as the wind STOPPED and did not blow again until the next morning. I still am amazed at the weather and dry ground we were blessed with.

"Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

"Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. "


Kevin shaved off the gray goatee last night and he gained 20 years--i thought he looked quite handsome with it but he didn't like the way it made him feel old--I keep telling him "but dear, you are old"---I guess some things are not funny

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I'M ALIVE

I thought of all these wise and astute things to write about as I was "Trekking" back to the car, but for the life of me i can't remember any of it at the moment. Bottom line is that i made it home--toenails in tack {YEAH} and a appreciation for youth. They are sooooo amazing!!! We are breathing a collective sigh of relief---WHEEEW---that this is over, and it went well considering minor bumps along the way. I came home with 800+ pictures from the three days (last time i shot around 200 on film but with digital...it is amazing) I plan on posting them all---ok maybe not--but you will see a few here and there. Abbey the dog is SOOOOOO HAPPY that I am home--i still wish she would have been with me--especially when i was off on my lonesome. My younger children just walked in sooo i guess i should go and spend some time with them--

TTFN

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Fear and Trepidation


As I opened up my underwear drawer and found my lone,hidden box of girl scout cookies, I knew at that moment that everything was going to be OK. Well maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. As i am thinking about the next three days i am finding myself a wee bit tense and full of trepidation. I have likened it to child birth--the first time you go through it you truly are clueless--you live to talk about it but you soon forget the painful details because you reflect on the wonderful thing that came out of the event.Then you decide that you want to go through this experience again and it seems like a good idea until you are actually in the throws of the painful experience and then you think to yourself---"WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING"?{those of you that have had epidurals--use your imagination here} That is how i am feeling about the Trek at this moment--only last time we went along for the good time---now we are in charge of the good time. { Note to self--Need to learn to say NO} I am questioning my ability to be where i need to be to capture the entire event (I am in charge of photography) I joke about the fact that i am in shape--after all ROUND is a shape.--but i am beginning to doubt myself. I just remember how OLD i felt as i did this the last time--and i was four years younger then. So all---check back in three days to make sure i made it home alive and hopefully i will come back with all my toenails this time[I lost 7 of the 10 after the last Trek--they have all grown back and look so lovely] Just for the record the laundry did get done--18+ loads in 21/2 hours--gotta love that. It makes me want to get rid of the single washer and dryer in favor of an entire room full of washers and dryers--it does make life easier to have it all done at once. I have decided that my 8 passenger van was designed to carry all my laundry back and forth--to heck with the children and needing that many seat belts.

Happy Trekking All


The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person doing it.
-Chinese proverb

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

modern technology

Today left me wondering about modern technology. Just think about all the advances in the last 100 years--The car, airplanes, phones, dishwashers, washing machines and dryers..... so why is that we have all these time saving devices and yet we are more rushed for time. I mean years ago when you left the house you were gone, if someone called and you weren't there--they called back or would talk to you later--now we have instant access to just about anyone. It doesn't matter that you are enjoying a quiet evening out--your children can still get a hold of you and complain....The real thought behind this came when I started thinking about laundry and the many piles that I have surrounding me. A 100 years ago it would take people all day long to do their laundry--{some things have not changed.} It will take me an entire day+ to get all my laundry done. Have we really not progressed in 100 years? I mean all i have to do is throw it in and the washing is done without any more assistance from me--no washboard involved. I figured that it goes back to the # of clothes we now wear---for this reason i am going to start a push for NUDISM---OK, maybe not, but think of the time saver!!


Actually the plan is to hit the laundromat and get it done in 3 hours--its doable. I am planning on having the kids in tow so they will appreciate the time and effort that goes into this laundry thing.



We did clean out drawers today and got rid of the small or undesirable clothes--so there will be room for the clean stuff--Ah i love spring cleaning.




There are two primary choices in life;

to accept conditions as they exist,

or accept the responsibility for changing them.

----

Denis Waitley


Monday, March 10, 2008

TrOuBLe

When was the last time you played the game TROUBLE?--I played it tonight with the kids--the game lasted----FOREVER---We finally just quit because we wanted to watch "Medium"---It was nice to play and not have peoples feelings get hurt because you bumped them off--AHH--- the maturity that comes with age.

''If you must play,
decide on three things at the start:
the rules of the game,
the stakes,
and the quitting time”
-----
Chinese Proverb

TrANsiTiOnS

My children are growing up---whether i want to acknowledge that fact or not it hit me in the face this weekend. My third born called me on the phone to let me know that she had made the transition into womanhood!!{i-yi-yi} I haven't yet figured out the correct response to that information--I don't feel that you say "Congratulations"--cuz why would you congratulate the fact for many years to come once a month you feel bloated, crampy and cranky? I love the fact that i am a woman, and have been blessed with the opportunity of motherhood--but what you have to deal with on a monthly basis can be a bit daunting as a teenager. The hormones alone leave you questioning your sanity at times?! She was rather emotional but handled the fact well. We went to dinner and a movie that night and I enjoyed my alone time with her. It always amazes me the things they will talk about when you are alone together. "Things" that you have no idea were even floating around in their heads. I can see how easy it would be to allow the distance to grow between teen and adult. I just need to remind myself to take time for each of them individually. It is bitter sweet watching how quickly your children transition from one stage of life into another--if i think about it too much it makes me rather sad. Where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday she was this tiny little thing with tons of black hair--[at this point i would post a picture but that was pre-digital days] I feel if I do it right I am working myself right out of a job--ah the bitter sweet joys of motherhood. For those of you who have yet to experience this--watch out---it will be here before you know it. Enjoy them while you can and i will do my best to slow down the moments and savor them for what they are--TRANSITIONS

{Mothering}
should involve
both taking care of someone
who is dependent
and at the same time
supporting that person
in his or her efforts
to become independent.
------
Signe Hammer

SO much to do

First day of spring break---so much to do---so little time. So off i go to accomplish that which needs to get done, and that which I want to get done. I had better start by calling the doctors office to get meds for Alex---it will be a long week if i forget. He actually slept in today!!!--as did everybody--what a nice way to start off the week--well rested......

The sooner you fall behind,
the more time you'll have to catch up.
–Anonymous

Sunday, March 9, 2008

A bit DRAMATIC

I was thinking that maybe i was being a bit dramatic the other night (LOL) I didn't actually get fired--I was just told that due to observing me and the "team dynamics" that my contract would not be renewed--sure kinda felt like i was fired though. How long can i milk this for sympathy? Oh, for those who are wondering what job it was--it wasn't the one as wife or mother. The bus driving gig is still in tact, and on occasion i will still do my upholstery. The job in question was my travel job for a scrap booking company---so now i won't be going to the shows, buying more stuff that i don't need, and won't use--BUMMER!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Setbacks

So today i had a rude awakening. I have never been fired from a job--eVeR-- and today i recieved an e-mail stating that my services would no longer be needed. Now since i have never been fired i thought it was a tad rude to send by e-mail. Am i wrong in that thinking? For those of you Seinfeld junkies out there i was thinking i would pretend that i hadn't gotten it and just continue to show up. HA HA---{wHATeVeR} I guess i have a good self esteem because i just figure it is their loss. I just keep telling myself--"I'm good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me." Al Franken, Stuart Smalley in Saturday Night Live

I have other options out there-- {Insert} the word I --in place of the you
YoU have brains in your head.
yOu have feet in your shoes.
YoU can steer yourself
in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go
.– Dr. Seuss

I guess i just need to decide what i want to do with my life. I do enjoy the travel part of the job and meeting new people......What shall i be when i grow up? So there it is--my set back for the day. Kari/Lisa this means i won't be coming out to see you in August--Bummmer!!! And it means i will be stuck in the AZ heat for the entire summer---i feel like i am melting already just thinking about it.
Obstacles don't have to stop you.
If you run into a wall,
don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it,
go through it, or work around it.
----
Michael Jordan

LonG LOSt FriEnDs

Yesterday i received a call from a {long lost} friend. Our friendship goes back to the days when we worked at the bank together. We saw each other at our worst---FAT AND PREGNANT. She is one of those friends that no matter how much time passes we can pick up the phone and it is like all time has stopped. Even though our lives have gotten sooooo busy and we don't have the time together like we used to, i still consider her one of my best friends.! It was amazing how her call just brightened my day!! I know that if i needed her she would drop anything for me and i would do the same--that is truly what friends are for. I need to make an effort to call her more often--but that thing called life----so BUSY most days. So, if you haven't talked to a dear friend in a while--drop them a line--it will make both of your days--I PROMISE!!


"Even though we've changed
and we're all finding our own place in the world,
we all know that when the tears fall
or the smile spreads across our face,
we'll come to each other
because no matter where this crazy world takes us,
nothing will ever change so much
to the point where we're not all still friends.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Simple Joys

It is a great thing when you can make someones day by something simple. I have managed make 2 people happy this morning (o.k. one was the dog but she was very happy) Before i took Jake to school i told him that i had picked something up for him at Mervyns yesterday--and to go out to the car to get the bag. He was quite thrilled with the 2 ties that i had gotten him. He always wants a pink tie and when i saw the one i knew i had to get it--it was just too perfect for him. He has a dark brown shirt--it will look so awesome with it. And then the other one just said "Jake" to me. He has a green pair of pants that he wears to church and i just liked that it was not your "normal" boring tie. He is so funny because he really doesn't care for the color blue--so anything but blue and he is happy--what an odd ball. Gotta love him though.

So as far as the dog goes-- she was thrilled that she got to go for a ride in the car this morning. She loves to ride in the car and since my driving the kids to school has diminished so have her rides. She doesn't care that it is just around the corner--it goes back to her forgetting that she is a dog and thinking that she is part human. That and the fact that she thinks we are attached at the hip. On the way to school Jake asked what we were going to do with Abbey while we were on the Trek--I don't know if she can emotionally handle having me gone again. AHHH---I will have to think about this one.?




If you were all alone in the universe

with no one to talk to,

no one with which to share the beauty of the stars,

to laugh with, to touch,

what would be your purpose in life?

It is other life, it is love,

which gives your life [meaning].

This is{harmony}.

We must [discover] the joy of each other,

the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.

-----

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Natural Order

There is a natural order in this thing called life.
It goes something like this--as teenagers our parents drove their parents crazy,
we did it to our parents,and as the circle of life continues
so does the responsibility of our children to drive us nuts.
It is what keeps the world spinning around.

At no point do we cease being our parents children and therefore no matter what the age they still worry about us, as we will, and do with our own kids. Kind of a depressing thought when you are in the midst of frustration with your kids. For this reason I love having friends of many generations---they give me a perspective of where i am going and remind me of where i have been in the whole child rearing thing. I find that sometimes i am so busy focusing on the here and now that i forget where i have been. But here is the real reason behind these thoughts--i ran into one of the young women from church that i have not seen for awhile. She comes from a family with some major "issues". In talking with this 17 year old she is having to deal with some baggage that has been created by her parents. She made the comment that she was having to play "Mom" to her younger siblings and how frustrated she is that she has had to be the grownup in this situation. I couldn't help but feel sorry for this girl--I AM the mom, and that is my choice, and sometimes it stinks--but she was given this job based on birth order. She is having to make the best out of a horrible situation--to try and hold this family together, while those who are supposed to be the adults continue to make choices that bring heartache and sadness to this young lady and her siblings. Isn't being a teenager hard enough without the additional complications of raising your parents? While as parents we struggle in raising our children hopefully we have the perspective of parents who supported us through our difficult teenage times and that will help us help our children get through theirs. So friends when you think you have reached your capacity to deal with your children, just be thankful that you are doing it as an adult. We are here to help each other out in this thing called life. Lets just pray that our kids take turns having their meltdowns and we can each take a turn being the shoulder to cry on or the ears to listen to those who are in the midst of the turmoil.
Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small,
and only half as stupid as my teenager now thinks i am.
-----
Rebecca Richards

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Let the SNEEZING begin

Have you looked around and noticed the desert lately? It is awash with color---all kinds of things blooming. I saw periwinkle, fuchsia, yellow, lavender, peach and white flowers as i drove today. It was so pretty---but as i was driving i had a rude awakening as too what all this blooming really means----ALLERGY SEASON!!!!! Yes, it hit me with a ton of bricks today and i have wanted to take any sharp object that would fit in my ear and try to give it a gOOd scratch. I actually had to stop in Gila Bend to pick up some allergy pills at a gas station because i knew that it was only going to get worse, so i might as well nip it in the bud. Thank goodness for drugs that work. Luckily i was able to take a nap while i waited for my team because those wonderful pills knocked me out---not the best way to drive. I guess it is a good thing that this happened now so i will remember to take drugs with me on the trek--boy, would that have been a miserable experience if i didn't have them along. In doing research regarding the whole sneezing thing i have become rather enlightened. There are pages and pages when you Google the word "sneeze."

So here is some knowledge regarding sneezing

We know today, of course, that when you sneeze, your heart doesn't stop, nor does your soul get expelled, nor will your eyes pop out if you could keep them open. Also, it's just about impossible to hold your eyelids open while you sneeze. They snap shut by reflex. The nerves serving the eyes and the nose are closely intertwined, and stimuli to the one often trigger some response in the other.
What does get expelled are hundreds upon thousands of microscopic germs. The current advice when you sneeze is to cover your mouth with your arm rather than your hand. That way, all those germs won't be on your hands when you touch the countless things you're going to touch in the course of the day. "Bless you" in response to a sneeze might be to bless or thank a person who sneezes but covers his or her mouth and nose with a tissue, handkerchief or even a sleeve as an act of concern and courtesy to others, in order to avoid spreading the germs expelled so as not to sicken other people. Presumably, a person who fails to demonstrate such concern and courtesy by not covering the mouth and nose during a sneeze would not be blessed or thanked

Now mind you i am not a "germaphobe" but in my flight to Oregon i was sitting on the isle (all the more reason i like the window seat) and this little boy walked by and with adult like precision turned his head and projectile sneezed all over me. I was covered in snooze--to which his mother responded "honey, cover your nose when you sneeze" Ahhh, Yah, just a little too late mom.

O.k. just one more sneeze story---all the more reason not to stifle your sneezes

So the other day we were at a bridal shower for a girlfriend and i could feel this {HUGE} sneeze coming on--so i pulled up my shirt and tried to stifle my sneeze--well that worked only instead of a sneeze coming out my nose i let a little ["TOOT' ] go--i didn't even know that i had gas or maybe i wouldn't have tried to suppress the sneeze. My girlfriend and i just looked at each other and then her daughter said something to the effect that "that was a funny sounding sneeze". At which point all that were within range of the said offense just started busting up. I turned bright red and was laughing so hard that i {SNORTED}. Isn't it ironic that at 39 years old i still laugh at the sounds of bodily functions--i thought i was SOOO over that--I guess not.

Blessed are those who have learned to laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be entertained.

-John Powell

http://www.pointsincase.com/stop_sneezing.htm